(Closed) Groom wants to wear a tux with full tail coat to an afternoon wedding

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If you can afford getting him the tux, I think you should do it.  IMO – the bride and groom can never be too dressed up.  He can always take off the jacket if he wants at the reception – but I think it’s cute he wants to get so dressed up!! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d let him wear whatever he wants. If he is happy with the way he looks it will come through in pictures.

Post # 7
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@MarchWedding2012:  I actually don’t think the groom needs to match the best man or the fathers – nor do I think the fathers and the best man need to match.

I think it’s fine if they do – but I think the only people that typically should match are the groomsmen… but – it sounds like it’s just the best man, right?  If so – I’d say let them all do their own thing.  If the fathers and the best man are all in the same suit and your groom is in tails, I think it would be fine.

Post # 8
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Traditionally tails are only worn after 6pm and with a white bowtie. It’s your wedding and you can do whatever you like, but it seems like he’d get a lot more use value out of a grey suit or even a normal tux than out of tails.

What time is your wedding? If his heart is set on tails but you’re having a daytime wedding, you could compromise by having him wear morning dress (traditional formal daytime wear – often a grey tailcoat, grey trousers, and grey vest). I have no idea if Men’s Wearhouse would have morning dress – it’s not very common anymore. But it would be more ‘correct’ than mixing formal eveningwear, grey suits, and tea length dresses. And a tailcoat + regular tie sounds…peculiar.

Basically, I guess, do what you want because what really matters is that you two are happy. But if I were in attendance I would totally be a snob and be like “these people are deeply confused.” Yeah, I’m a horrible person. But your older relatives/fashion conscious friends might share my perspective, so be warned.

Post # 10
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

“But he says that it is the most proper attire for the most important day of his life!” So cute. FWIW, I adore tails. I think they’re hands down the most attractive thing a man can wear. So I definitely sympathize.

I admire your flexibility and your desire to see him as happy as possible even if it’s not ‘correct attire’. And you’re absolutely right that your friends and family just want to see you happy, and if they think it’s a bit odd–oh well. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

Post # 11
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I get the whole “have the guys buy suits instead of rent tuxes” for the bridal party, but not necessarily for the groom. As someone mentioned early on, the B&G can never be too dressed up. I think it’s cool he wants to go super formal (I think too many grooms are becoming too informal for formal affairs! which doesn’t really match the formality of a bride in a wedding dress), but I think it’s cool if his vest and tie match your color scheme too. Maybe that’s the compromise that you two can come to?

 

Post # 12
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I second the morning coat. Traditionally that, and not a tuxedo with tails, is what is worn for a wedding since most weddings ussed to take place mid-day. He could always rent one, and then he and his groomsmen/dad would be all in gray (although morning coats come in charcoal and black too, they are usually worn with grey trousers). It would still give him the special/standoutness that a tailcoat would, but he would still be coordinated and more appropriate for the time of day (before 6). I agree with mrssrsm that as one of your guests I’d feel like it was really odd for only the groom to be in black tie and at a beach wedding, he shouldn’t take his “wedding attire” cues from a cake topper – however at the end of the day it’s about what he feels comfortable in.

This is what a morning coat looks like:

http://andrewsandpygott.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/knize-morning-coat.jpg

(wb won’t let me upload it, sorry)

 

 

Post # 13
Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think it’s fine! Depending on how formal your dress is, though, too. If you are in a blinged out ballgown, you guys will look formal and beautiful together 🙂 If you’re wearing a flowy, beachy frock, though, he might look overly dressed up. I don’t think he necessarily needs to match the other men. And I must not have a lot of etiquette, because I say, who cares if it’s traditionally only worn after 6pm? It’s your wedding, do what you want!

Post # 15
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

@oracle:

 

No, I am sorry, but he cannot take off his jacket! Waistcoats for white tie are backless, and the jacket is not supposed to come off – ever!!!

Furthermore, while I am staunch supporter of formality – probably far beyond anything most people here consider formal – there is also such a thing as etiquette. Full evening dress, that’s what it is called (it’s not a tuxedo), is not to be worn before 6 o’clock in the evening. Hence, the name evening dress. It is the utmost in formality; the king of formal evening attire. Look here if you do not believe me: http://www.blacktieguide.com/White_Tie/White_Tie_Intro.htm

It is a very traditional outift, and deserves respect. The daytime equivalent would be morning dress.

Post # 16
Member
433 posts
Helper bee

@mrssrm:

 

I completely agree with you! I was a debutante and took finishing classes. I would not say anything at the wedding, because that is not done, but I would certainly notice and think that these people must indeed be very confused about etiquette. I am very much in favour of formality (I have worn hats and gloves to every single wedding I’ve ever attended), and if it were up to me, we would all dress like this http://www.flickr.com/photos/christianmontone/4171803884/ for every day life, but there is a time of day, a season,and a place for everything.

Formal daywear requires the proper setting and the proper environment.

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