Post # 1
I was talking to my Fiance and he says that he will only agree to wear a black suit and tie (Not sure if it has a special name; just the simple, long kind). He refuses to wear a bow tie. I am worried that if the groomsmen and groom are all dressed like this it will look more like they are going to a funeral than a wedding… he said he didn’t mind if the groomsmen had bowties and his was the “normal” kind but wouldn’t that make their suits more formal than his?
Post # 2
I don’t think it’s a huge problem. Our groomsmen and my Fiance are all going to wear blue ties (the long kind). And to stand out a bit my Fiance is also going to wear a blue vest. Maybe your Fiance could wear a vest to be different? Otherwise I would have all of them just wear long ties, because I agree that it would look strange to have the groomsmen wearing bow ties and the groom wearing a long tie.
If your Fiance doesn’t want to wear a vest he could have special cuff links or a different type of shoe so that he stands out a bit if that is important to you.
Post # 3
Are they wearing suits or tuxedos? In either case a bow tie is not necessarily more formal than a regular tie. A bowtie is more traditional with a tuxedo but men have been regular ties too for quite a while. I think it is a great way to distinguish the groom if they are al wearing black tuxedos.
Keep the groomsmen in a full suit or tuxedo. They should all dress to the same level of formality.
Here’s a pic with different ties. The ties look fine. The groomsmen look way too casual ( more like waiters) without a jacket.
Post # 4
I dont think its an issue. Its his outfit, if thats what he wants I would let him. It will just look more ‘formal’, I dont think it wil look funeraly.
Post # 5
My husband wore a different style tie, it was fine! Also, your FH’s groomsmen can wear long ties too.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2020 - New York, New York
I think it’s fine! As long as he doesn’t suggest what kind of dress you should get. If you get full discretion to pick the dress, I think he should be able to pick out something he’ll feel good in. It’s his wedding too.
Post # 7
Let him wear what he wants. I’m sure you’ll be able to find a way to distinguish the groomsmen from the groom. You could either put the groomsmen in colored ties or had them skip the vest or jacket.
Post # 8
I think the people invites to the wedding will know who the groom is and they will know from the invite that it’s not a funeral. he is wearing something nicer than a hoodie that is approprate for a wedding and I’m assuming you are picking your own dress.
Post # 9
PP’s suggestions are awesome! Hmm.. maybe add a more elaborated boutonniere for your groom if they don’t want to change their attire? I can literally see myself posting this here too so I feel for you. But we probably will do away with groomsmen and bridesmaids..
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
It will look fine. You could possibly get the groomsmen ties that match the bridesmaid dress colour if you want to lighten the look up a little. I personally think that black suit with white shirt and black tie looks great.
Post # 11
By long kind do you mean tails? Like this?
Post # 12
the one thing I think the groom should have 100% say in is what he wants to wear on the day and what will make him comfortable. Some of FIs suggestions make me want to cringe and if he asks I’m honest but otherwise leaving it up to him.
Post # 13
My husband and I didn’t really have a bridal party but had our brothers as witnesses and everyone kinda coordinated outfits.
He was the only man at the wedding with a waistcoat on and a white bow tie. We also gave him a fancy buttonhole flower that matched my bouquet. I don’t think there’s any mistaking that he was the groom x can your groom maybe wear a white tie?? Here’s my handsome husband <3
Post # 14
So every man who wears a black suit with a long tie to work looks like they are going to a funeral? I’m assuming you have very limited experience with people wearing suits then. It is a pretty classic look that he’ll get a lot of wear out of akin to a little black dress. No one is going to mistake your wedding for a funeral unless you have the most boring somber wedding in the history of weddings planned. It will be fine.
Unless you are giving him equal say in your wedding dress, stay out of his suit choices.
Post # 15
Yikes, I’d be thinking along the same lines as you, OP. I’ve only seen this look pulled off with *supreme* tailoring, cut close to the body. Is he fit or slim, with dark hair? That’ll help. Perhaps you might look up some articles in men’s mags… GQ, Esquire, Porter, to show him how it’s done, and why black is usually reserved for tuxes and funeral attire.