Post # 1
My fiance and I have decided on the look we are going for on our wedding day. He will be in a black tux and our groomsmen will be in grey tuxedos & purple ties. Our bridesmaids are also going to be in purple. The issue we are having now is that he wants to be ALL in black. Black tux, shirt, tie, vest, everything. Every shop we go to has told him he will look like he is going to a funeral instead of his wedding, but he insists. If we do this then the groomsmen will have to have a black shirt as well. When we talk about changing it he gets a little upset because he thinks I’m making every decision pertaining to the wedding.
Have any of you been in a similar situation where your Fiance really wanted something in your wedding but you weren’t sure how it would look/fit with the wedding?
Post # 3
my Fiance really wants to wear shorts on the wedding day… Any other day of his life I wouldn’t mind but these pictures are going to be on my wall for a lifetime, and we’re having a fairly black tie wedding event so him in a jacket vest bow tie and shorts might just look silly. Its tough, and it took many talks but eventually he came around and we comprimised. He gets to change into shorts after photos / First dance at the reception.
I had to explain to him a lot that I love him, and I appreciate the input and wanting to be a part of the planning but if we expect our guests to show up dressed like movie stars on oscar night then we should be the couple setting the bar! It definitely wasn’t easy..
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
We had a color disagreement, I won! He cannot wear all black, he will look like a funeral director.
Post # 5
I totally agree with you tht he should not be in all black. The bride and groom and “supposed” to be in the lightest colors. On a side note, our guys also wore gray and purple and it looked fantastic!
Post # 6
Thank you all for the responses! I have to talk to him some more and try to compromise.
@firemansgirl I love that color combination!
Post # 8
When I used to rent tuxes we rented a lot of black shirts which was sharp, but that was mostly for prom and homecoming. I don’t see anything wrong with a black vest and tie, but he should probably at LEAST wear a white shirt! I was about to say let him have the black shirt if he really wants and then I saw that your wedding is in august. If it was winter, no one would think “he looks like he’s going to a funeral” but black head to toe in August, IS going to look awful dark…
Post # 9
My DH also insisted on a black shirt. He wore an ivory vest and tie. It looked a little mafia, but it was his wedding too. He looked great though.
Post # 10
@msj2thez I thought about the white vest and tie, but Im not sure I would go well with the groomsmen combo. I’m going to see if he would throw some color in there with a purple tie or vest, something. I didn’t even think about it being August and all black. He gets frustrated easily when he’s hot sI that’s just asking for trouble!
@wreckerbabe It does look a little mafiia, but I’m sure it worked great.
Post # 11
I really dislike the all black look. I think if you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to wear a white shirt with a classic tuxedo.
Post # 12
My fiance is considering the all black thing.. I don’t mind in the least. I figure if he doesn’t tell me what to wear, or have a final say in my dress, I should probably return the favour.. but I tend to think he looks sexy in all black, and the invitation should clearly say wedding rather than funeral to clear up any confusion :p (that said, he is worried that he’ll get a few funeral remarks).
Post # 13
Compromise is the key I think. My finance had all sorts of ideas I wasn’t fond of, but what he was really excited about was having the white and black shoes and having some color in his bout, so I gave him the shoes and the bout, but structuring the rest of the outfit more my way. Maybe he just likes the dark look? How about a grey shirt instead of the black. That might look kind of cool with his groomsmen in a grey tux
Post # 14
Dont mean to hijack the thread at all, but as a guy, I was thinking tradition suits for my guys, white shirt, black suit, vest and tie and switching it up for me, black suit, black shirt, white vest and tie. Does that work in your opinion? Also, would I want white shoes or a white belt for that?
Post # 15
@adalm03: Well let’s clear something up. He won’t look like he is going to a funeral. A Tuxedo is never appropriate to a funeral, and no one would ever wear one. Second, no one would wear a black shirt, black tie, black suit, to a funeral. That’s what you wear to a club. Lastly, a proper Black Tie ensemble (i.e. Tuxedo) is black with a white shirt. All the details are black. So, unless the lovely folks at the rental places think that the entire tradition of Black Tie is about funeral dress, they have no earthly idea what they are talking about.
Here are two things I suggest getting your FH to read – thoug I definitely suggest he read the entire site:
http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Alternatives.htm (scroll down, and there is a bit that specifically addresses the outfit your FH currently wants)
http://blog.blacktieguide.com/2013/09/24/2013-emmys-red-carpet/ – scroll down to the bottom of the post for two examples (both of which are widely panned)
As I always do, I suggest grey suits over grey “tuxedos.” For the same price as renting, each can purchase his own charcoal suit (or spend more if he wants, or wear one he owns) and will look very good, and get more use out of it, so therefore better value for his money.
Post # 16
Please don’t do it. Black shirt, white tie = cartoon mafioso. The white shoes will just make it that much more awful. You might as well go all out and get a white fedora at that point.