(Closed) Groom's attire–suggestion/advice please!

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 18
Member
12 posts
Newbee

@Duncan:  Not a tux, just a suit

@Groominator:  the white shoes I didnt think would work, but I like the idea of black shirt, white tie and vest, but maybe ill go traditional and give the groomsmen some color

Post # 19
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

@adalm03:  My Fiance wants to wear all black too.  I told him he can wear black pants and a black shirt, but he is NOT wearing an all black tie!   I am going to get him one with silver (grey), royal blue and black in it.  I’m seriously considering something like this.

Post # 20
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JustAnotherGuy:  get charcoal or navy.  A black suit is not much use, and is only particularly appropriate at a funeral.

Post # 21
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

OMG..these grooms sometimes…with their ideas..I do think he will look like he is going to the funeral..I don’t know what to suggest to you…tell him to read this thread ..

Post # 22
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@waitingalongtime:  hes a grown man.  If, after considering everyone’sadvice and opinions, he still chooses all black, then he should wear that.  Don’t start your marriage by insisting he isn’t even smart enough to dress himself.  Beside which, if you are going to change one element of his ensemble, it should be the shirt.  It also sounds like he isn’t wearing a jacket? In that case, he doesnt need to consider the same things, and the single colour could look ok.

I don’t like his choice of outfit, but it’s his choice and you should let it be his, even if he screws it up.

Post # 23
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@SashaUSARu:  I hope you don’t dress anyone that way for a funeral.

Post # 24
Member
397 posts
Helper bee

@Duncan:  I agree that it is his choice and he is in agreement on him wearing a different color tie.   He also knows I absolutley hate the black on black but because I love him and know he is a grown man, and that this is not just my wedding but his too, he is wearing black on black.  I didn’t mean to make it sound like I am controlling what he is wearing but rather I believe it would look horrible together.

Post # 25
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Duncan:  huh? what do you mean? in your culture people go to funeral dressed in rainbow colors? I unfortunatelly attended many funerals in my life..and there is a standard way for guys to dress either all black or black suit and white shirt with a black tie….I just read an article about  Amy Winehouse funeral..that was couple of years ago…there are some pictures for your reference…

Post # 26
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Duncan:  Ahahahahahhaaaa….sorry didn’t know that you are a fashion specialist…Can you please tell me a club where guys go with a black suit, tie, shirt etc….I really want to see this club..or you meant security guys from night clubs? lol

Post # 27
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@SashaUSARu:  Black or charcoal suit, white shirt, and black tie.  A black shirt is a fashion choice, and attention grabbing.  It is completely inappropriate at a funeral.  Just because people do it, does not make it acceptable or appropriate.  In one of your photos above the two men are wearing a dinner jacket and a velvet sport coat; these are evening wear, meant to be worn for celebrations, and are therefore completeyl disrespectful choices.  To be respectful and sedate is the order of the day for a funeral.  One inch and two inch wide ties, likewise, are a fashion item, wich means they are designed to draw attention, making them unsuitable.  A silver tie is appropriate to a wedding, not a funeral.  The mourners at a pop star’s funeral are hardly to be considered the apex of decorum.

Here is a tasteful example, from Margaret Thatcher’s funeral:

Post # 28
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Duncan:  It is just funny how you go in every possible thread and teach people how to dress and tell them what is appropriate and what is not…Fashion is changing constantly…rules and norms are changing as well…And the fact that you had a plain classic tux on your wedding day..and somebody wore black and white for somebody’s funeral..doesn’t make it a universal rule for everybody..and the fact that you think something is tasteful doesn’t make it tastful for everybody…

I am not even going to argue with you anymore…because you obv. know better…

Post # 30
Member
9951 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @SashaUSARu: say what you want about @Duncan: , but he does have his FACTS straight.

Etiquette gets a bad rap often here on WBee, but the truth is these types of accepted rules exist for a reason… the consideration of others.

As you say, times are changing for sure… but just because someone does something to “express themselves” doesn’t make it proper…

And certainly not the case when it comes to occasions such as Funerals or Weddings (honestly we’ve all seen posts like this by Brides complaining about the inappropriateness of certain Guests, and how their “poor choices” end up on film… and spoiling otherwise good shots… or the attire was so inappropriate that it caused a distraction to the overall event.  More people gawking at the half-naked female Guest than the Bride)

Now in this particular situation, where the OP is dealing with her Groom, then I would argue IN YOUR FAVOUR… that he can do as he pleases as he is the Guest of Honour

BUT at the same time, if it means he detracts from the look of the Bride, the feeling of the event, or the vision of the Bride and her hard work for the Big Day to have a cohesive theme, look feel … that then ya I’d say that is a tad inconsiderate on his part

In truth, clothing serves a multitude of purposes, besides self expression.

There are times in life when dressing appropriately is important…

And not to do so is disrespectful when someone intentionally puts their own needs in clothing ahead of others in situations that are meant to be more civil … or where the wearer’s attendance should not be the focal point of the day.

Pushing clothing boundaries is acceptable at the Academy Awards or the Grammys… and hence WHY you’ll see all sorts of incarnations of formal wear and other attire at those events.

BUT overdressing (or underdressing) for an important event that is meant to “Honour” someone, be it a Wedding or a Funeral is plain & simple an inconsiderate thing to do (be it the Bride, or the Deceased) and therefore Rude.

 

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