Groom's aunts and uncles upset

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4900 posts
Honey bee

Point out that your son is your immediate family and tell them to mind their own business.  If your mother wanted what happens to the ring to be decided by committee she would have left it to all of you.

Post # 3
Member
9193 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
Helen3 :  No. Your mom gave it to you so it was yours to give to whoever you saw fit. Hopefully, your son and his fiance will live happily ever after and you’ll see the ring given to one of their children.

Post # 4
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Your mother have you that ring without any string attached. You could have sold out, given it to a stranger, anything. Instead, it’s a gift given to your son (your immediate family) to give to his future wife (who will soon be your family). I’m assuming giving them the ring and helping their engagement/seeing your nearly daughter in law love and appreciate your mother’s ring gives you immense happiness? Way more than giving it to a grabby niece or sister?

Post # 5
Member
7868 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Your mother was the only person who had the right to put conditions on how the ring may be passed down–she trusted you. 

Post # 6
Member
47413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You are not responsible for your siblings’ feelings. That’s on them. The ring was yours to do with as you choose.

Post # 7
Member
13908 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
Helen3 :  Your siblings are way out of line. The ring was your mother’s to do with as she wished and now it’s yours to do what you wish. There is, of course, the risk that the ring won’t stay in the family if the marriage doesn’t last and there was no prior agreement. For that matter a niece or sister could always sell or lose it. Some people would act on that risk and others prefer to treat in law children as family.

Post # 8
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

View original reply
Helen3 :  ugh im confused if your son is proposing to this girl she will be you DIL therefore will be family unless im missing something? But no your family is being petty and childish the choice is yours

Post # 9
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Err what maybe I’m missing something but if your son was given this ring by you to propose then that will soon be your DIL now making her family your family is being petty and childish

Post # 10
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2021 - British Columbia, Canada

Since when is your own child not immediate family?!… Your siblings need to be told to back off and mind their business. You did nothing wrong.

Post # 11
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

They need to mind their own business. It was given to you. You gave it to your son. Therefore, it is not up for discussion. How do they even know about this?

Post # 14
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Agree with all that’s been said already, don’t take it back! I’d also worry that taking it back would likely allienate and insult your future DIL and your son (since that could immediately communicate that you don’t see her as family.) Even if your son hasnt given it to her yet I doubt that it would stay a secret and might cause a lot of hurt feelings down the line if she finds out you gave it and took it back :/ 

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