(Closed) Grooms family broke

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Also, I should add…we had a pretty formal wedding, and did a pizza buffet for our rehearsal.  It was a nice change and our guests had a blast!

Post # 48
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You should just try to let it go. Your poor Fiance, I am sure he feels bad about this. Just realize that she obviously doesn’t hold the “wedding hoopla” as high of an importance as you do. And maybe she thinks her dress is fabulous. My friend got married last year and herhusbands mom didn’t buy a new dress for wedding, she totally had the money but it just want an important splurge for her,she had plenty of dresses she loved. 

We are getting zero help for our wedding, my FI’s parents both passed away six years ago and my father passed away and my mom and I do not speak, even if we did she has zero extra money….. I was surprised when not one other member of my family even offered to help pay for anything, i thought maybe my grandma would want to pay for the cake or someting small, maybe just my makeup……nothing.and I am the only girl in the family. But after that I just realized, you know what, they don’t want to for whatever reason, maybe they have the money, maybe not, but it’s up to them and it is our wedding, so whatever, we will be glad that they will be there and that is that. I think anyonpaying has someone paying/contributing for their wedding should feel very lucky. 

Post # 49
Member
1429 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Any one getting any amount of $ for their wedding is blessed. No matter if it’s a lot of very little.

Fiance and I are paying for EVERYTHING on our own and I am out of work atm. The economy sux. Be grateful for what you have and undersatnding for what others don’t.

Post # 50
Member
781 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@pokergirl84: I’m sort of in your shoes.  My Fiance and I are having a relatively long engagement, 18 months…The reason we’re even having a wedding is because our parents wanted one.  Yet, NEITHER set of our parents bothered to save.  I know my parents don’t make much…

His parents opened up a store early last year and I think they’re still hardly making money back, so they’re definitely in no financial situation to help out.  Yea, I get bitter at times, that I’m spending all my hard earned money on a wedding for the parents when I would’ve been fine with a city hall wedding and just a small dinner with close family and friends.  But…you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Btw, my mom bought a gown in China to wear for the wedding…his mom is talking about wearing a pant suit…but whatever she’s comfortable in!  Ultimately, I just want everyone to have fun and to enjoy the day!

Post # 51
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think your future mother-in-law was being very wise buying a dress that was within her means. I am sure she would love to buy an evening gown for her son’s wedding but perhaps she’d rather pay the gas bill! The one hard and fast rule is that it’s in very poor taste to pretend to be something you’re not (for instance buying more house than you can afford or going into hock for a super formal, extravagant event when your ordinary lifestyle does not match). A simple affair that puts on no airs is just as classy as a traditional wedding breakfast with white glove service.

Look at it from that perspective and if you are concerned she will feel uncomfortably underdressed take her for a fun shopping trip! But only if you think she will feel out of place. Personally I think the mother of the groom wearing a nice dress of any kind is never out of place but she may feel otherwise!

Post # 52
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If doesn’t matter if FH’s mother can’t pay, won’t pay or what – she is either unable to or unwilling and ultimately, is not responsible to. 

It sounds as if the wedding is huge (350 ppl?) and you should have budgeted for a rehearsal dinner. 

View original reply
@Linz1231: Thanks for mentioning this. I live in NY, and many of the guests at our rehearsal dinner have previously lived in NY. We have thought of doing a pizza buffet with one catering tray of like salad, one of pasta and one of garlic knots – because they all miss NY PIzza. Sorta like a welcome home for many of them – giving them one food they want in NY but won’t get at the wedding. 

 

Post # 53
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

This is one of the most ungrateful posts I’ve seen around here. How would you feel if your Fiance was ranting and raving about your family like this? Horrible and disgusted with him, that’s how…

Post # 54
Member
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

View original reply
@dragonlover: I think it will be really popular! We had pizza, salads, toasted ravioli, etc. from a local pizza place.  The food and atmosphere were very cool! Easily one of our best decisions.

Post # 55
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

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@sara_tiara: Exactly what I was thinking! Well said. Suunds like you’re entitled to something.

Post # 56
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@luvmyDwight: Totally agreed. Neither of our families contributed one red cent towards our wedding, so we had the wedding we could afford. Novel concept, eh?

Post # 57
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

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@swtTea: if i were your Fiance and I saw this post…not having an Rehearsal Dinner that you hoped for would be the last of your complaint! There would be no need for the wedding!  These harsh complaints are so mean!


My thoughts exactly!  

I am reminded of the McDonald’s McRib commercial where the woman says, “I married a fourteen-year old!”  

Post # 58
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I feel like this has to be a troll!

Post # 59
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

View original reply
@starbuck: I feel like this has to be a troll!

With 187 posts, probably not!

Post # 60
Member
10846 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

At the request of the OP, this thread has been closed.

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