(Closed) Groom's Family Paying for Wedding – so what do bride's parents pay for?

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 2
8558 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

catsandpickles9:  Have your parents actually offered to pay for anything?

Post # 4
2805 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My FSILs inlawas paid for her wedding and the rings, dress, etc. Future Mother-In-Law paid for the rehersal dinner. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Your family could do  whatever they can afford to. Whether it be at someones house with food cooked by family, catered or out at a venue.

Post # 5
766 posts
Busy bee

catsandpickles9:  Are your parents just offering you a lump sum, or are they offering to pay for specific items?  If it’s the former, I think you can just graciously accept their gift and I don’t believe it’s necessary to get into the specifics of who is paying for what.  You can tell them that your future IL’s are contributing as well.  However, if they want to pay for specific items, I think you can just tell them that amount would cover the rehearsal dinner and brunch.  I know a lot of families get stuck on who “traditionally” pays for what, but much of that tradition doesn’t really apply these days.

Post # 6
1228 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think your Fiance needs to sit down with his family and discuss budget, expectations,  and if any strings are attached to the money. Maybe they want to pay for the rehearsal dinner, maybe they don’t,  its completely up to them. 

But I would definitely not ask your parents for a single dime if they are struggling financially and I wouldn’t talk about the groom’s parents paying unless your parents repeatedly ask. 

Edit: I would turn down money from my own parents depending on their finances. They shouldn’t struggle to provide luxury items like rehearsal dinners

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  canadajane.
Post # 7
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

There really is no tradition in regards to who pays for what.  In today’s world it is the couples job to pay for the wedding.  If someone offers up money or to pay for it you can certainly accept, but anything not covered is on the couple.  Also, remember that money comes with strings so by accepting your ILs money they get the majority of say over your plans.

I would tell your parents that your Future In-Laws have offered to pay for the wedding and that you and your Fiance have graciously accepted their offer.  Then ask if they are still wanting to contribute money like they originally said.  If they do, then you can work it out with them in regards to where they want their money to be used.  If they don’t, then no biggie.

Post # 8
8558 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

catsandpickles9:  Have you asked your parents if they have a preference on what their money gets spent on?

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