Post # 1
FI lives in boots or converse, he never wears dress shoes and they look really out of place on him (we tried!). So, we decided on chucks. His family thinks its cute, but my brothers hate the white toes. I like them on him, but do worry that some people (my parents friends) will think he didn’t bother to dress up for his own wedding.
So, what do you all think? Suit is charcoal grey, chucks are slate blue and brand new.
Post # 3
I really like the look of chucks/vans with nice suits! If girls can have fun with their wedding shoes why can’t the guys?
Post # 4
I think they are great and it doesn’t matter what other people think.
Post # 5
Lots of grooms and groomsmen are wearing chucks. It does look better though if they all wear them, otherwise the groom would stand out.
this bride even got in on the action!
Post # 6
Well since you asked—with a suit I think they look sloppy, gimmicky and like the person is trying to hard. But, perhaps gimmicky and fun is a look he is going for. I do not judge. These are legitimate aims for how someone wants to present himself. If it fits the occassion, who gives a sh*t?
I only object to the concept that dress shoes somehow look out of place on a grown-up. There is no way dress shoes can look out of place on a man. What does he wear to, say, funerals or job interviews? That’s rhetorical. I’m just sayin’.
Post # 7
It’s a cute idea, but it’s not my fav. I think that dress shoes would make it look more formal. I just think that they stick out too much.
Post # 9
My hubs wore chucks! Do it!
Post # 10
The bestman at my daughter’s wedding is wearing black patten leather ones with aqua shoe laces to match his vest. I think it’s fun and he is always the life of the party.
Post # 11
Verno–I certainly didn’t mean that dress shoes look out of place on all guys, just that they look weird on my FI. He’s a mechanic, so no dressing up for job interviews. For weddings and other dressy occasions, he usually wears a pair of Doc Marten wing tips like these (which looked worse with his suit than the chucks).
I get the trying too hard comment, and I sort of hate that they have become the new “in” thing because FI has been wearing chucks since he was a kid, on him they just sorta look natural (and trust me, there is nothing hip or trendy about FI). The groomsman won’t be wearing chucks, because they don’t ever wear them, and I want people wearing what they are comfortable in (plus I’m not paying for shoes they’ll never wear again).
The wedding and reception are all outside, if that makes a difference. Its still sort of formal, but in a more casual setting. My brother is apparently wearing flip flops.
I know they aren’t the ideal shoe, but can he get away with them? Or will people just be hating the shoes and not notice how nice everything else looks?
Post # 12
To me they stand out so much they take away from him as a whole. Instead of ” look how nice the groom looks”, it is “look at the groom’s shoes.” The items are fine separately but together they stand out-like wearing wing tips with shorts.
Post # 13
I second cakegal – they stand out too much to the point were they take away from the whole look. People will be paying too much attention to the shoes and not enough to your FI.
If he wants to break them out for the reception, that’s another thing and I’d say that’s fine. But not for the ceremony.
Also – like Verno Inferno – I don’t buy what you say about your FI looking out of place in dress shoes. He may never wear them so you may not be used to the look but I promise you – no grown man looks out of place in dress shoes at the proper occasion (like a wedding), not matter what is profession/personality/etc.
Post # 14
Personally I think there’s lots of different shoe options. Would I like my groom to wear Chucks? No. And he doesn’t wear dress shoes either. There’s lots of other shoes out there that can pass for smart black shoes that don’t have to be formal. But that’s just IMO. I’ve seen beautiful weddings with them and I’ve seen not so beautiful ones. All in the eye of the beholder and all that.
Post # 15
If the brother is wearing flip flops, he may look dressed up in chucks!
If you do decide against the chucks, I can understand him not wanting to spend money on a pair of shoes he will never wear again.
Could he borrow a pair from a close friend or family member? Or buy a pair at a thrift or consignment shop? Or buy a cheap pair at Target or K Mart?
Post # 16
Can he get away with them? Or will people just be hating the shoes and not notice how nice everything else looks?
What you wear communicates something about you, and on a certain level it also communicates what you feel about the occassion and the people around you. For the people who know your fiance, they’re going to probably love it and will understand what he’s communicating with the shoe choice. You and his family know him and understand why it’s going to be a quirky nod to his fun, dressed-down lifestyle. For people at the wedding who don’t know him well, the reaction will run the gamut: some will think it’s awesome, some will think it’s weird and wonder who the heck nonimouse12 is marrying and why didn’t he bother to put on dress shoes for his own wedding.
Honestly, most people won’t care one way or the other. They came for the beer.
So yes, he can get away with them. And yes, some people will be hating the shoes. But that’s sort of the required response when someone breaks the rules a bit, right? If everyone thought it looked great then it would cease to be “different” or edgy. This isn’t one of those things were you’ll get everyone on board.