(Closed) Groom’s Idea of a Wedding = Frat Party?!

posted 8 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Er, if he and his friends cannot be responsible adults when drinking alcohol, I would not put myself in a situation where I am liable. I’m all for compromise, and i wonder if a small restaurant reception would work? Less conducive to “let’s party!!!!” and if they want to party, they can go to a nearby bar afterwards.

PS i’m embarassed for you. Darling Husband and I were both in sorority and fraternities and have had our share of good times–all our friends are greek, and while there were copious amounts of liquor at our wedding, there was no breaking of things and generally acting like 5 year olds.

I would perhaps consider a dry wedding if i felt my FI’s friends couldn’t act their age and we still felt the need to “celebrate”. But i also believe you can have a low-key celebration for your wedding and maybe he can get crazy on his bachelor party night

Post # 4
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

You Fiance would be liable too, and I’m sure he wouldn’t want that… Discuss your concerns with him and come up with a good plan together. The idea of going for a nice dinner at a restaurant for the “official” reception and going out to a bar nearby afterwards seems like a good one.

Post # 5
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

How old is he?

Post # 7
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Setting responsible, adult limits is not Bridezilla.. You two are getting married and he has to respect your concerns – you do not want to be liable for his teenager behaviour, but you will be if he chooses to act like one.
Why would he choose your wedding to act like this instead of celebrating love and marriage? Why not go trash some place with his friends during his bachelor party, while not married?

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow, I’m sorry but that is ridiculous. Your Fiance is willing to forgego a $1200 deposit in order to break stuff and wreak havoc?! I don’t get it! You can drink, have a good time, and not make a disaster of stuff.

Seriously that is the most ridiculous behavior ever. How does he think it’s ok to damage property? =(

Post # 9
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wait, you can’t even go to a restaurant with your FH and his friends without them breaking things and causing a scene?  I think you really need to have a talk with him. 

I agree with egb… if he really wants to trash stuff he can do it at the bachelor party.  I’d also celebrate with your friends separately. 

Post # 11
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow…. it must be nice to live in your FI’s world where a $1200 deposit is nothing for a “good” time.  I really think you need to talk to him about how you understand his want for a celebration and that you want him to have that, however at the same time you do not want this to turn into situations like past events.  Talk with him about not wanting to be embarrased in front of your family by his friend’s actions and that you feel the over consumption of alcohol will contribute to this.  Maybe you can get him to agree to a wine and beer only reception.  Maybe it is just when they hit the hard stuff they get crazy?  As egb suggested, a bachelor party would be a more appropriate time for them to trash (as if there really is an appropriate time to trash someone else’s property!) a place and that you want the wedding to have some form of dignity and not fall to their immature ways. 

Post # 12
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Last year we had our wedding, it was the third wedding for both of us. We had a lovely early evening wedding followed by a simple little reception. The next day, we had a casual pig roast complete with keggers. Perhaps a day after the wedding party would feed your FI’s need to party!

Post # 15
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Honestly, this kind of thing would have me reconsidering the whole marriage, not just the wedding plans.  If he is going to be your life partner and the co-parent of your kids, he needs to be mature enough to make it through one day–that is a concern to both of you–without going wild.  It’s not just the liability issues, but also that he needs to be able to compromise in a way that will let your guests, as well as his, feel comfortable.

Post # 16
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@2dBride: Exactly what I was thinking.

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