(Closed) Groom's sister-in-law is skipping my wedding

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

Eh, yeah, she could have been more gracious in her letting you know wasn’t going to attend, but for me, it’s one less mouth to feed, lol.  I wouldn’t stress over it much.  Are the RSVPs in already?  

Post # 4
Member
6826 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Could be worse my own brother didn’t show up to my wedding he texted me the day of my wedding and said he was sick, yeah no.  I saw the day before and he was fine .  I would just let it go and keep in mind your wedding is about your and your soon to be husband not who will or wont be there

Post # 5
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Just have a fabolous time without her. Don’t let it ruin your wedding day.

Post # 6
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Picky about hotels and food generally means she doesn’t travel cheap. In other words, they can’t afford for the two of them to go to your wedding, so she’s staying behind.  While I find her wording clumsy, I dont’ find it offensive.

Post # 7
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

meh I wouldn’t get so fired up about it. it’s not that big a deal, and she’s saying in very clumsy terms that they can’t afford it.

Post # 8
Member
14398 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I find it odd that she doesnt want to attend.. not very family oriented.  But whatever, it’s her husbands brother, not her own sibling.  If she’s not physically close or close to the family, I can understand not wanting to spend money on it, though I do think it’d be pretty shitty of her.  Is she close to the groom or you? 

Post # 9
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

At least she let you know in advance! We had a family of no-shows at our wedding.

Post # 10
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@shaykitteh:  what your relationship like with her normally? 

in all honesty, you never know what other people’s finances are like.  even if it’s only a $200 plane ticket.  don’t let it bother you.  just be thankful that the brother is coming.  maybe she’s using the “picky” excuse to make her feel better about not being able to afford to come.  that is embarrassing.

my sister’s husband or family didn’t fly in for my wedding.  only my sister did.  she flew with her points.  i couldn’t expect them to pay out “their” hard earned money on something for “me”.  that’s unfair and unrealistic.

Post # 11
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@shaykitteh:  I think she kind of didn’t tell you in a nice way but other than that I don’t think it’s anyone’s place to judge why she is or isn’t coming, and as for her not going with her husband to his brothers wedding? that’s between them. If he’s ok with her not coming that’s their business. Plus it’s not anyone else’s business how they spend their money or how they handle saving for something (or not saving for something). I could see being a bit upset if his brother wasn’t coming, but he is and that is the most important thing in this situation IMO. Let this one go 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Look at this way, if she came she would be judgemental and criticize the food, the decorations, or give comparisons to her wedding. It is best that she doesnt come you will have a better day.

 

THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS!!!Sealed

Post # 14
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

You never really know someone else’s financial situation. Let it go, enjoy your day, and don’t hold it against her.

No one is obligated to attend your(our) wedding(s).

Post # 15
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My sister in law didn’t attend my sister’s wedding because she was pregnant and didn’t want to travel the 4 hours by car (I really think she just wanted my brother and her son out of her hair for the weekend). We didn’t take offense, the weekend was a lot nicer without her there.

Post # 16
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@shaykitteh:  Eh. It’s not a huge deal. You won’t be paying an extra per person cost for someone who doesn’t want to be there. One of her inlaws is getting married and if she isn’t really close to you or your fi, there’s nothing really wrong with her not going. Especially since she isn’t making an effort to keep her husband from going.

 

PS- She shouldn’t have to give up a luxery/romantic/Stress Free vacation with her husband jsut to go to your wedding. That’s your special day (and your fi’s). Her vacations are special and important to her. You can’t assume too much about other people, even if they are close to you.

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