Post # 1
I am not particulary close with my fiances 3 sisters. We get along now, but in the past have had some “drama.” My mom and a few others have told me that I HAVE to have them in my wedding, but honestly, I don’t feel close enough with them to include them in my bridal party. Their children will be the ring bearer and flower girls, so I feel like I am including them in some way. Is it wrong not include them or should I just bite the bullet and do so? If your opinion is yes, they should be included, do you have any advice as to how I can gain a closer relationship with them? I feel like part of the problem is age(i’m 20 and they range from 23-30), and I have no idea how to bridge that gap.
Post # 3
I get along quite well with his sister’s but they are not in my bridal party. Granted I am only having two people in mine…my sister and my best friend. So they totally understand.
I think it is up to YOU who is in your Bridal Party and people should respect that. I think including their children is perfectly acceptable and is more then enough.
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2011 - AnthonyÃ¢Â€Â™s Fine Dining
Personally, I chose to include my FI’s sister. We’re not super close, but we get along. The way I see it, even if we’re not close now, who knows what things will be like 10, 20, 50 years from now? I also think it’s YOUR wedding and it’s totally fine if you don’t include them. Maybe give them a reading to do or something so that they still feel special and involved.
Post # 5
I would not include them if you do not want to. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to choose to have only the people you really want to be bridesmaids in your wedding.
Post # 6
I chose to have FI’s sister in the wedding, but we get along just fine. You are not obligated to have them in the wedding.
Post # 7
Wow, it’s my story too! His 3 sisters are 30-36 and all have kids and are married. We are not having the sisters in the party but 3 of the 5 flower girls and 1 of the 2 ring bearer coming from his sisters. However, two of his sisters are singing and one is doing a reading. I only have 3 girls on my side; my sister and two cousins/best friends.
Maybe you can have them do a reading, give flowers to the females in attendance or something small?
Post # 8
I am having my FI’s sister in the wedding because she is one of my best friends. I am 28 and she is 27, so it works out well. That being said you are no required to have them in the wedding. Have you talked to your Fiance about this? He may really like to include his sisters in the wedding. Oh and about the age- You will find that the older you get the age difference between you and your FSIL’s will not seem like a big deal. You will have more things in common. Maybe by including them in the wedding you would spend more time together and it would give you the opportunity to get closer.
Post # 9
I’m not having FI’s sister’s in my wedding, but they are 20 and 25 years older than him… the same age as my parents…. so.. no. But, I am going to ask one of his female cousins, the other one is again, much older and married and not into anything that involves a dress… But, I think his other cousin and I will end up being fairly close, we like a lot of the same things and she’s really nice, and I like her. Plus, Fiance is closer to her than either of his sisters. Ha, I just realized by marrying him I will be a great-aunt at age 22 LOL wow….
I think including their children is good enough, make sure they sit very close to the front, and put them at a head table with their children… you dont have to include them in the wedding party so much, as just in the event.
Post # 10
I dont think it is for anyone else to say who you “have” to have in your wedding. It is YOUR wedding and you can have whoeever you want–please dont let them dictate your day.
Post # 11
my fi’s sister is one of our bridesmaids, but honestly…your fi has 3 sisters? depending on how many bms you want, adding 3 more seems like a lot! if you want a small bridal party, having all 3 of his sisters be part of it may be too much.
Post # 12
I think it is totally up to you. If you already have close friends and family you want to fill the spots in your wedding party, you shouldn’t need to not have someone you want or have extra people. I guess it comes down to who you’ve chosen, who you want, who your Fiance wants etc. If your Fiance really wants to include them, discuss it and maybe there’s an alternative – there’s nothing wrong with them being on his side either. You are already including their kids and that is a nice gesture. Like is suggested above, have them do a reading/sing/light a candle etc. Or maybe even just include/show their importance by giving them a corsage the day of?
Do what’s best for you to feel most comfortable and supported on your day!
Post # 13
I am doing exactly as you are doing. I am including their children in the wedding in honor of them. They all said they understand.
Post # 14
As a sister of the groom I think they should be in the wedding, BUT…”in” the wedding DOES NOT mean they have to be bridesmaids. If you are comfortable with it, they could stand on his side. From my point of view, I would rather stand up with the guy that I have known his whole life – but you have to be okay with a “unconventional” wedding party. If the kids are in the wedding, be prepared for the fact that the moms may have to walk/coax/etc the kids down the aisle – so they may be in it if you ask or not. You could have them do a reading or guestbook or cake. Or you could mention that you want to include them (guestbook, a reading, etc), but you don’t want to take them away from their kids during this time. As a mom, I would be nervous that I wouldn’t be around to calm my baby if she started crying or some other disruption. I’d want to be able to whisk my kid right out of there if she started doing something during your vows.
Mostly, just make sure you make them feel important – like you would anyone in your family who you love but didn’t ask to stand next to you. I had all those people (grandma, sister-in-law, etc) walk down the aisle after the music started and before the parents.
This is a really long post to get to my point: they just want to know that they are important to their brother – and by association, to you. (Unless they have issues) they probably don’t care what you ask them to do, just that you care enough to include them.
Post # 15
I agree that you should have who you want to have in your wedding! That being said, I asked my FI’s sister to be in my wedding party. She is a lot younger than I am (me -29, her – 19) so we don’t have too much in common and of course we don’t hang out (she also lives 2 hours away). However, I knew it would be important to Fiance and his family. She is very close to him and she doesn’t have any other siblings so I figured why not!
What is your FI’s opinion?
Post # 16
It is totally up to you. I chose to include my groom’s sister, but we added an extra person on each side to our bridal party in order to do this. (I had 4 girls that I really wanted to be in our wedding, he definitely had 4 guys, so I asked her and he added a 5th guy).