Grooms who took their bride's last name…

posted 8 months ago in Names
Post # 32
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

MrsSapphire :  Dh and I both changed our name to Mr & Mrs Mylastname Hislastname. The first step was doing it on the marriage license then we took that with us to the social security office. Once we got our new social security cards we went to the dmv and next we will go to the bank. So far we haven’t hit a hiccup yet. I think it was around $20 a piece for new driver’s licenses but that’s all so far besides the marriage license of $85.50. I will say we are in Kansas though so things might vary. 

Post # 33
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Neither DH or I have changed anything officially. I’m very attached to my maiden name, and he’s not related to anyone with his current last name (long story), so I’ve kept it, and he goes by Mr MylastnameHis(original)lastname, no hyphen, professionally (So I’m Jane Doe and he goes by John DoeDeer though his ID still says John Drake) 

Post # 34
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Long time lurker here! I saw this post and knew I needed to make an account to comment with my experiences. Before we were married, my husband and I decided to hyphenate our last names. My sisters and I are the last “sanfrans” (not our real name), and it was really important to both of us that my name was carried on. When we first told friends and family, we were met with mixed reactions. Some were really supportive, and some were irate. Our hypenated name is super long (20 characters), and they were complaining on behalf of our future children. (Which was uncalled for, because at the time, we were unsure if we even wanted or could have kids). We simply told them that we were the ones who had to live with it, so if we had no issue with it, they shouldn’t either.

When we filed for our marriage license, the clerk had an issue with my husband hypenating. It wasn’t anything legal, it just was “unnatural” and according to her, he was making a mistake. She grilled him for what seemed like forever, before approving the license. (FYI we live in a small New England town). 

We had a Catholic service and requested to be called by our new hypenated last name. The priest forgot and only introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname. We brushed it off, and we were introduced at our reception by our new married name by the DJ.

When we went to change our names, the social security officer had no issue with him taking my name, and even told us that he thought it was really cool. The DMV, however, asked my husband no less than twenty times if he really wanted to do this (but didn’t think twice about me hypenating). My husband was really offended, and we ended up leaving that location and going to another one. (That location did not question me or my husband which was refreshing). Other than that, everything went smoothly. 

Over one year later, my husband and I face next to no criticisms for our decision. We’ve found that if anyone does have an issue, we either ignore it or remind them that our decision is something that we are happy with. We do get the occasional card addressed to Mr and Mrs Hislastnane, from my very traditional Grandmother, but we shrug it off. My advice to anyone contemplating hypenating or taking their husband’s/wive’s last name, or even keeping their own individual names is to do whatever makes you happy. At the end of the day, if you are happy with whatever your decision is, then nothing else matters. 

Post # 35
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

bretagne422 :  just curious, because you’re the breadwinner, did you insist on a prenup? Would you be mad if you had to pay him alimony or child support after a divorce (Heaven forbid)?

 

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