Post # 1
So my fiancé and I sat down and picked our wedding party. Because I have moved to 4 cities in the last few years, I ended up with 7 bridesmaids so he came up with 7 men to match. My dilemma is that one of the men happens to be a friends of his that I don’t get along with. He was once my fiancé’s closest friend, but since my fiancé became sober, he has disappeared. While mike was going through the most difficult time of his life, this man (and two other groomsmen) continued to try inviting him to drinking events and talk him into partying. At later dates, the other two became supportive, but this friend has openly called me a b!&[email protected] and says I’m ruining his life (he chose to be sober before we even met, so I have nothing to do with the decision but am completely supportive). He openly mocks the idea of us being together since there’s a 9 year age gap and he doesn’t like me.
My question is, do I ask my FH to pick someone else, something which will probafly create a lot of drama, or do I suck it up for that one day?
Post # 3
I think you should leave it up to him. He already picked him, so there must be a reason that he wants him there. Hopefully he behaves himself for one day. I guess I would maybe have your FH to talk to him to make sure everything will be cool.
Post # 4
Have you considered an uneven number? The Groomsmen and Bridesmaid or Best Man don’t have to match. Generally I feel if there’s any doubt, leave them out.
Post # 5
Do you honestly think leaving him in the wedding party will create that much of an issue? I dont mean this to sound mean like this does in my head as it does as Im typing it. Cause if he is only walking down an isle, standing up at an altar with him, and posing for pictures I dont think it will be that much of an issue. And if your Fiance chose him, he must mean something to him, or at least MEANT something to him. Alot of people want a matching wedding party. I have OCD so mine MUST match LOL. I would gently ask your Fiance to talk to him as previuosly suggested to make sure everthying is settled on the sobriety issue like for bachelor party reasons and such. Is he the best man, or just a GM?
Post # 6
I think your Fiance is free to choose whomever he wishes to be in the wedding party.
Post # 7
Thank you for the feedback. There’s more to the story (he tried to get my fiancé to break up with me, etc, etc) but I think I’m starting to be ok with him in the wedding, as long as he understands it needs to be drama free.
Post # 8
my major red flag is why, oh why, does your groom want this guy in your wedding if he calls you names? If my FI’s friend and groomsman called me a name, i guarantee you they would be having a serious talk and nine times out of ten i would never have to see the asshole again. Does your groom know his friend treats you this way?