Post # 1
Seriously?! what is wrong with people?! One of my fiance’s 4 groomsman called today to tell him that he will not be able to make it to our Yosemite wedding that is happening in one week. My fiance and I have been engaged for about 2.5 years, sent out STD’s about a year in advance, so he had plenty of time to 1)save up money (gas bc we’re paying for his room) and 2) find a babysitter. Now with a week to go, he calls and drops out. We offered to pay for his gas and allow him to bring his 4 kids to our strictly no kids wedding but he still declined. I am beyond annoyed at this groomsman and upset for my fiance. Originally he had 5 gm’s but broke off a friendship with one of them bc of how that gm was acting. Now he has another one that can’t make it bc he didnt bother to plan for it until the last minute. I could care less about being even in Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen numbers, i’m just pissed that people keep pushing this wedding off like it doesn’t matter.
Post # 3
If he has kids, please cut him some slack. You really never know what might be going on in terms of not knowing how they’d deal with a sitter they don’t know, or traveling, or any number of things – not just money. If it was a single dude bailing a week before, I’d say yeah, he’s a dickbag, but when you’ve got a family, I’m sorry, but they will always be top priority over ANYTHING else, including a friends’ wedding. The thing with kids is, a year in advance doesn’t mean squat if one of them has something unexpected pop up.
I know that doesn’t make it suck any less for you guys, but it doesn’t mean theres anything “wrong” with him – and you may find out later he had a good reason that would make you feel bad for getting so pissed. Perspective.
Post # 4
Sorry!! My Fiance has lost two best men already and we are two months out. The first best man announced a couple months ago that his wife was pregnant and due the week of the wedding; understandable. Then the next best man, TEXTED my fiance the other day and told him his passport was denied…nothing else, just that his passport was denied. No explaination, no I’m sorry, but I can’t make it because, etc, etc.
uggh..so fiance scrambled and is promoting another groomsman while replacing yet another groomsman.
I told Fiance I won’t be surprised if we loose more on his side at the last minute, some of them aren’t really responsive when we ask them for information like tux measurements, etc.
I think we’re prepared and have a few people in mind to stand in if anyone ditches last minute.
Post # 6
@mandypop: Agree with you here!
Just because the groomsman had 2.5 years to save up doesn’t mean that sh8t doesn’t happen. Maybe he just found out that he or his partner or his kids are ill, maybe he or his partner has lost their job or is about to or have had hours reduced, maybe one of the kids needs braces. Fact is your wedding is only the most important thing in the world to you and your FI- to everyone else there are other things that are more important.
Sure you can be upset but at least he was honest enough to tell you- I am sure it was a hard thing for him to do (disappointing a friend and all) so yes i would cut him some slack!
@fresitachulita: Maybe the groomsman who had a passport denied is embarrassed and upset that he can’t make it which is why he never said anything more!
I personally think it is rude to replace people just because circumstances mean they can not attend. I had 2 BM’snot able to make my Destination Wedding because of last minute life circumstances- I never felt like they had to be replaced because they were still my BM’s whether they were physically at the wedding or not!
Post # 7
@j_jaye: I don’t know if it’s rude to replace groomsmen when two drop out leaving your wedding party uneven in a formal wedding. You can’t really “replace” a best man persay but you do have to promote a groomsman to hold the rings, sign the marriage cert, do the best man duties…and then simply had ask his other friends/relatives to stand-in the for the two who couldn’t make it.
I’ll respectfully disagree with you.
I do think it’s rude that you hijacked this thread to put down other poeples response instead of offering OP advice. I’ll move on from this thread.
@OP, sorry! good luck to you, I know it’s frustrating!
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s rude to replace people at all what works for you doesn’t work for everyone.
OP I’m sorry this is hapening to you. This is one of FI’s biggest fears because his groomsmen are all out of town guest. If you feel you want to replace them go for it. I hope everything works out for you, and I would also wait to hear an explanation from the 2 that dropped out before confronting them about anything. GL
Post # 9
@fresitachulita: Wow- did I not say I personally? Did I say you must think the same? If you don’t like opinions or comments then maybe an internet forum is not the place for you. Maybe seeing things from the otehr persons perspective or thinking how other’s might feel might be helpful to people.
By The Way you don’t have to promote anyone to do those things you mentioned- you can just ask someone to do them! There is no written rules that sides have to be even for a formal wedding or that the bestman/MOH have to hold the rings, the sign the certificate etc.
Replacing people can make them feel replacable and not valued as a friend. It is often good in life to think about the other person in the equation is all I am saying!
Post # 10
@fresitachulita: uhhh. People are allowed to have opinions. Nothing she said was rude.