(Closed) Groomsman giving us a hard time

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Should I just let her come?

    Yes. It's not that big of a deal

    No. It's rude of him to expect that

  • Post # 16
    Member
    9140 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    namsayin :  we included significant others at our rehearsal dinner. I don’t think this is a hill to die on. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    1338 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    My H’s best man brought his new Girlfriend of about a month to our rehearsal dinner. Had never met her. They are now engaged and getting married in the summer, H is a groomsman. You never know how a relationship is going to turn out and it’s much better to be gracious about it, especially considering there is travel involved and this guy is a groomsman. He deserves a +1.

    Post # 18
    Member
    7806 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Wow you sound really petty complaining that they’ve only been together for a few months. As you admitted, you are just looking for reasons to dislike him/her. It was rude of you to not invite her, correct your mistake, invite partners of the wedding party and go on your merry way. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Honestly even if it’s not common among your social group to include partners in the rehearsal dinner, I would just invite her. It’s clearly expected by some people, other people not, so it’s not totally out of the realm of possibility that she should be included. This is not a hill I would choose to die on. With all the stress that goes with planning a wedding, it’s better to just let this go and include his girlfriend.

    Post # 23
    Member
    764 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

    I would just ask yourself whether you’d have an issue with anyone else in the wedding party bringing a +1 to the rehearsal dinner. If not, then you know your problem is the guy and not the situation itself. I mean, I get it. Based on the guy’s history, his girlfriend may not be around much longer, and the guy just rubs you the wrong way all around. But the fact is he is part of the wedding party and should be allowed to bring his +1 just as you’d let any of the rest of the wedding party bring their SO (unless no one is allowed a +1 for the rehearsal dinner, which would be a different scenario).

    Honestly, I feel like you should let this one go and let him bring his girlfriend, if for no other reason than to minimize the stress you and your fiance are already under with a wedding coming up so soon. Enjoy the last few days of engagement and throw yourself into final wedding day plans and put this guy and his girlfriend out of your mind as much as possible!

    Post # 24
    Member
    2722 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    View original reply
    namsayin :  Just try to relax these last few days.  I understand you don’t like Bob, but nothing you wrote is really that awful.  I get that there’s people that rub you the wrong way, but a little kindness goes a long way.

    FWIW, I am firmly in the camp that the bridal party gets a +1 no matter how long they’ve been together.  I will go further and say I believe all guests get a +1.  I hated attending weddings alone.

    Our bridal party all had +1s and they all came to the rehearsal, which for us was more of a welcome party since my husband’s family is all from out of state.  I’m not super crazy about one of the groomsmen’s wives, but I wasn’t not going to invite her.  And honestly, I think I said hi and that was about it.

    Don’t sweat the small stuff.

    Post # 27
    Member
    2722 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    View original reply
    namsayin :  You’re wasting a lot of precious energy about this guy.  Seriously, the whole stink eye bit sounds a bit childish.  What good is that going to accomplish?

    You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.  Maybe there’s a reason Bob has had so many girlfriends in the time that you’ve known him.  My husband has a friend like that.  He’s 36 and we think he has finally met “the one”.   Turns out my husband’s friend had some ungodly high standards and was a commitment phobe, but now he’s with a woman that he’s really serious about.  His relationships don’t affect me, and while I would roll my eyes at some of the stories I would hear, I just thank myself I’m not personally involved with him.  In fact, I feel a bit sorry for him, but he seems to be in a good place now.  Maybe you can just be happy that Bob is living his life the way he wants to.

    Post # 28
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    You sound so sad and petty honestly. You’re looking for another reason to dislike this guy. His SO should have been invited to the rehearsal dinner in the first place, so do the right thing and allow her to come. Or, just kick him out of the bridal party since clearly that’s what you’d prefer.

    Post # 30
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    View original reply
    namsayin :  I saw your updates. Hence my last sentence, just kick him out of the wedding because clearly neither you or your husband want him in it at this point. 

    The topic ‘Groomsman giving us a hard time’ is closed to new replies.

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