Post # 1
My best guy friend and a groomsmen in our wedding was arrested right before our wedding and missed it…this broke my heart because he had been a huge part of the planning process and was perhaps the person most looking forward to the wedding after my fiance and I (and our immediate families). It is a few weeks after my wedding now and he will be getting out soon, he was arrested on “non payment of a fine” which I think it is INSANE to arrest someone and hold them for a month for, but I found out shortly after the wedding that he knew he might get arrested for it several months ago and might miss the wedding and did nothing to fix the situation and just hoped he could fly under the radar and get away with it. So now I havent spoken to him in a month and I am so hurt that he allowed this to happen and I dont know what to say to him. I know from our other friends that he feels bad and was asking to see photos of the wedding, I dont know how much he is punishing himself for this and if I should just forgive him and not be upset with him, but him not being there for us (his two best friends) on the biggest day of our lives is something I will always be sad about. What should I do when he gets out?
Post # 3
The guy was arrested, it wasn’t like he missed the wedding for something personal against you so I don’t know what you would say. I’m sure he knows he let you down and you can probably tell him that but would it really do any good?
Post # 4
hash it out, let him know what you’re feeling and try to let it go – you want to remember your wedding with great memories, not with angry/sad feelings on how he let you down. so get it out of your system – hear him out, give him hell and move on. :]
Post # 5
I’d be upset that he missed the wedding, but way more ticked off that he was silly enough to put himself in that situation. I would let him know how disappointed you were by his actions, or lack thereof, but then let it go after that. You’ll always be a bit sad about him missing it, especially when you think back on the day, but you can’t let it sour your relationship. Good luck and sorry that that happened!
Post # 6
Everyone has personal problems and he didn’t seem like he could fix this one financially… I’m sure if he could, he would’ve. Cut him some slack, you said “I’m so hurt, I haven’t talked to him in a month” and then followed with “I don’t know how much he is punishing himself for this”… you really need to speak with him if you value the friendship – it sounds like he was an awesome friend for awhile and this is HIS personal business. He obviously cares and feels badly if he is asking for pictures! Don’t you think he felt like sh** sitting in jail? Should his situation gone this far? Absolutely not, but it didn’t seem like he could take care of it. If he was a good friend to you for so long, you need to be one also to him right now — I’m sure that was a nightmare for him.