(Closed) Groomsman who can’t attend wedding anymore

posted 10 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I don’t think he should be listed as he is no longer a member of the wedding party.

Post # 4
9 posts
  • Wedding: May 2009

What is his relationship to the groom in the other wedding?

Post # 5
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

It would be very thoughtful of you to include him as an "honorary" groomsman, though it was unfortunate that he waited until it was too late to make changes to tell you that he couldn’t attend. 

If you are really just as close with his wife, could you give her a position (such as a reading or guestbook attendant) so that you can honor them in your life that way instead of maintaining the groomsman title?  Just a thought…

Post # 6
122 posts
Blushing bee

I would leave him on the website as ‘honorary groomsman’ but leave it off the formal wedding programs. On the website it is kind of cute and explains that there wasn’t a falling out to anyone who knew he was supposed to be a part of the wedding but I think it would be confusing on the program. 

Post # 7
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Did he agree to be a groomsman and then back out? 

I would just leave him off.  It doesn’t have to mean that you’re upset.   Besides, if you put that on the program, it might invite questions as to why is he "honorary?  Did he die? Why did he choose the other wedding? etc. 


Post # 8
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think I would leave it off the formal programs to avoid confusion.

Post # 9
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I agree with Tanya123 – I would read "Honorary Groomsman" as someone you asked to be in the wedding party and then he died and couldn’t make it.  Oooops.  I bet a lot of your guests will read it the same way.  but you could leave it on the website and make a note about it.

Post # 10
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

For me, that would depend on why he chose this other wedding.  If a cousin or brother asked, I can understand why he felt he had to choose the other wedding.  Another friend… eh.  I’d put it in, largely because that’s what Fiance and I are planning on doing if his military-to-be groomsmen are in bootcamp on our wedding day.

Post # 11
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I would put it on there if it would mean a lot to him. Otherwise, I wouldn’t bother. Most guests will not be paying much attention to the programs anyway. It is more common for "honorary" to refer to someone who has passed away, however, so you may field a few questions from people who don’t know him. But it seems easy to explain your situation. Really I don’t think you can make a bad call. It’s up to you.

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