(Closed) Groomsman Worries from the Groom

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
8584 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think alot of times the groomsmen look forward to the bachelor parties more than the groom!

I can honestly say that my own mother & bridesmaid are CRAZY about my bachelorette.

Maybe your groom can begin planning his bachelor party? I mean he can pick & choose the things he feels comfortable doing.. and if he plans it himself, maybe his groomsmen are less likely to kidnap him for a surprise bachelor.

I am taking part in planning *most* of my bachlorette party as I don’t want it to be super lame, or over the top.

Post # 4
8759 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I don’t think you can ever go wrong or insult a friend by asking a brother, whereas the reverse may not be true.

As for the “kidnapping” worries, if the groom to be is really so unable to express his wishes in no uncertain terms to a young, immature brother and a “wild and crazy” childhood friend,   I  have to wonder how ready he is to cope with adulthood and other difficult situations.   FI should not be so passive that he  would allow himself to be taken somewhere against his will. If he’s afraid they will try something like this he’s got to make it very clear up front that he’ll leave.

Post # 5
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

How would they kidnap him? Short of literally grabbing him and tying him up they can’t, and if they trick him in to going somewhere he doesn’t want to go, he can leave at any time.

Post # 8
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - City Winery New York, NY


Would he consider having two best men? It isn’t “traditional” per se, but it is your wedding and both you and your groom should do what feels most comfortable and makes you both happy. 

In regards to the bachelor party, I agree with the earlier poster who mentioned he start planning the party. He could even tell his groomsmen how important it is to him that they do a round of golf and a poker tournament at home that night…or insert whatever favorite hobby he has. 

Post # 10
8759 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I don’t see how the history makes it  “awkward”  and I don’t accept the idea that these two have some kind of power over FI to make him do things he doesn’t want to do.   Your FI should  be proactive and make it clear that he feels strongly on the subject before they bring it up.  They won’t listen or take him seriously?    Write them a letter that expresses gratitude and appreciation for the friendship, but that explains that he’s being serious.     They are the ones who should feel awkward if they disregard him at that point. 

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