(Closed) Groomsman/men Bowing Out … What do I tell the bridesmaids?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I don’t think that I would ask any of the bridesmaids to step down. Do you have two special guys that are ushers that you could bump up to groomsmen if the brothers can’t end up making it? Most guys are pretty easy going about that kind of stuff. That would at least put you at 4 to 5.

Post # 4
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t think you should ask the BM’s to step down.  That would be very hurtful.  Is there anyone that could stand in for the 2 guys, if they can’t participate?

If not, 2/5 would not be the worse, given the circumstances.

Post # 6
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wouldn’t ask a bridesmaid to step down … that would be incredibly hurtful I would think. Do you have any men in your life that you could have stand up with FH (brother, close friend, what about FH’s dad?)

Post # 7
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t worry about it at all. Is there one Bridesmaid or perhaps your Maid/Matron of Honor that would be willing to walk down the aisle unescorted? Are you having the cermony in a church? If not, maybe you could have one of the groomsmen go back around and get the other Bridesmaid or Best Man – just make it cute???

Post # 8
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I wouldn’t ask them to step down. Even 2/5 isn’t a big deal- especially because those close to you will know that two of them won’t be able to be groomsmen bc they are now in the marines (if it happens!). Maybe you could just add a little something in the program that says you are thinking of the three groomsmen that could not be there… 

And then as for the processional, perhaps your bridesmaids could all walk in one by one and the groomsmen could already be at the alter. And after the ceremony, maybe the Maid/Matron of Honor and Best man could walk out together, and then the second groomsmen could walk out with two of the bridesmaids, and then two bridesmaids could walk down the aisle together. 

It will all work out! I think that having important people next to you on your wedding day is more important than trying to even things out.

Post # 9
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

this happened to us.  Darling Husband originally had 14 GMs.  as we got closer the wedding, about 5 dropped out.  so i was left with 8 guys and 9 girls (I only wanted 4 BMs, but had asked all these additional people b/c i thought there would be so many GMs).  anyways…long story short..i had 2 BMs walk out with 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man.  everyone thought it was really cute and that we had did it on purpose (I had 2 MOHs)

Post # 10
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

Our bridal party was lopsided (3 on my side, 2 on his) and I liked not following tradition. I think if you ask any of your bridesmaids to step down you could risk really hurting them and damage your friendship with them in the long run. To me, balancing out the sides isn’t more important than relationships with people you obviously care about.

Post # 11
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh gosh, definitely don’t ask any BMs to step down. There’s no doubt that your friendship with them wouldn’t be the same. Even if they say they’ll be okay with it, I’m sure deep down, it’ll hurt. Imagine if you were in their shoes, being told that you need to step down because the wedding party needs to be even?

Can your Fiance ask a female to be on his side? My Fiance has one of his female cousins standing up for him because he’s really close to her. He said he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

And really, lop-sided wedding parties are not bad at all. We originally had three and two, and it ended up being two and two after one drop-out, but we were totally okay with any sort of combination. It really doesn’t matter how many you have, what matters is the support you get from each person.

I would keep things as is, unless your Fiance can think of anyone else, either male or female, to stand on his side.

Post # 12
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m having 6 BMs and 4 Groomsmen.  I am just going to have all the guys walk in together behind my Fiance and then all the girls walk in alone.

I would just leave it as is.  If the two guys get called to duty then mention that in the program.  Leave their names as groomsmen but then add that we would like for everyone to take a moment to reflect on the two groomsmen who were called to service and couldn’t make it for the wedding.  I think that will mean something special to them that you honored them and at the same time let everyone know that you really had a full list of guys but there was special circumstances.

Post # 13
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

Oh, vintage, that’s such a sweet idea to mention the guys who are in the Marines.

Post # 14
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

just let them rock it on their own! 

Post # 14
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

just let them rock it on their own! 

Post # 15
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Please don’t ask them to step down.  I think it will cause more harm than good.  I understand wanting an even wedding party, but I think if you really reflect on that, you’ll realize that having them lopsided isn’t that big of a deal, compared to possibly ruining some friendships.  Besides, your position, having more BMs than GMs, sounds more logical anyway.  A bride needs more gals around her  to get ready etc, than a groom needs GMs, right?

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