(Closed) Groomsman’s Guest – Dresses Inappropriately

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

Ugh.  I don’t understand these girls that constantly feel like they need all attention on them.  I am in a somewhat similar situation.  My sister is inviting a friend of hers who also dresses like that.  At my sister’s family graduation party she wore a mini skirt and a shirt that could barely be considered a shirt…nothing was left to the imagination.

I found out that she is coming to my wedding hoping to hook up wtih somebody. She actually asked me how many single men will be there!!!!  (I told her there were none!!)  LIke you I am kind of just hoping I am jumping to conclusions and she will know better but I really doubt that. 

I am just telling myself if she does dress like that most people will think she is just a trashy girl.  The attention will still be on the bride and hopefully we won’t notice that guest  : )

Post # 4
Member
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

As a wedding guest, I always ask what kind of attire to wear, especially if I haven’t seen the invitation because I’m a date. Of course there’s a difference between a cocktail dress and something fully formal. Maybe you could make this a way to suggest he ask her to wear something appropriate. If that doesn’t work, don’t sweat it, like cmk said, either no one will notice because it’s not her day or they’ll think what they want to think.

Post # 5
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I would explain your feelings to your groomsman.  Inform him that you’re worried, and what you’re worried about.  Tell him that your wedding has religious meaning to you and you’re worried about what guests will wear and you wanted to make sure that whoever he brings is clear about that.  That way you’re not targeting her specifically and you give him a chance to tell her without pinpointing her.  As long as you tell everyone bringing a date the same thing, you’re covered!

Post # 6
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t care I don’t think-I’m sure you’ll be too busy worrying about a million other things.

Post # 7
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

It would make me really uncomfortable to have somebody dressed like that at my wedding. Maybe I’m a prude, but I’d take offense to that. I think you should talk to the groomsman about it, or have your fiance do it.

Post # 8
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I think it’s a good suggestion from pps, saying to the groomsman, “Sure a date is fine.  But just let your date know the wedding will be _____.  So she needs to dress in something_____.”  (You might want to give examples.)

But other than that, I think you should just play it cool.  If this is the girl he brings, and if she does dress trashy, people are really just going to think nasty things, and move on with their evening.  It won’t ruin the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

@Tanya123- I agree with that. If she wears it, she’ll just make herself look like a fool. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Just let him bring a date.  If she dresses inappropriately, she does so.  Just note to the photographer NOT to get her in any pictures!! 😉

Post # 12
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

<p style=”padding-left: 30px;”>I would let him bring her and just privately express your fears. He can say something like “The bride’s grandparents are crazy conservative and klcantwait is hoping no guests dress like it’s a night club.” Then it isn’t directed at his date, and she gets the idea. If she is inappropriately dressed it will become a funny wedding story, nothing more.

As a side note, I get really grossed out at the pictures some people post on Facebook. We actually saw pictures my husband’s cousin posted that looked like they we meant for a superhero fetish site. Surprised Yuck! 

Post # 13
Member
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

sjbee is right: “If she is inappropriately dressed it will become a funny wedding story, nothing more.”  just tell your photographer to avoid her whenever possible.  i don’t think there is really a way to dictate what your guests wear anyway.  roll with it!

Post # 14
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

THis is one of those things that especially when you see it coming, you want to do soemthing about it – but really you cant control everything.  Feel free to tell her semi-formal or fomal dress… but you dont get to tell her how conservative it has to be (even is she consistently dresses too provacativley).

Post # 15
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I have this exact same problem. My Future Sister-In-Law – whose husband and two daughters are in our wedding – showed me the ‘dress’ she planned on wearing to the wedding. It was a swimsuit cover up. She also has a very long history of wearing clothing as you’ve described. My Future Mother-In-Law has plans for us to take her shopping for something more conservative.

Don’t kid yourself – your guest will probably dress this way unless told otherwise. Perhaps let the groomsman drop a hint about the dress code.

Post # 16
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Trust me as someone who just experienced THE most inappropriately dressed person I’ve ever seen at a wedding – it will be nothing more than entertainment and gossip fodder for your guests. No reflection on you or your Fiance. The only one who will look bad is the groomsman who brought the chick wearing no clothes…. 

Tell her it’s “black tie” and see if she translates that to wearing a black tie and nothing else LOL. Sorry I’m really into amusing myself tonight. Fiance is at his fantasy football draft…

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