Post # 1
Okay so I already had one awkward situation in which the daughter of my old boss (I worked there for 7 years and used to babysit the kids) messaged me on facebook about how she was so excited for the wedding and couldn’t wait to go. I had originally intended on inviting them but after adding up both our families list, with family and bridal party alone it was already over the number we wanted and I had to tell the poor girl that I was not inviting them.
Now awkward situation #2:
One of the groomsmen did not book a room at the inn before it filled up (it’s a small inn so I wanted to make sure bridal party and siblings, grandparents, etc got first dibs). He was slow, not surprisingly and called too late. When I suggested he ask another groomsmen about splitting a room, he replied, well if we both bring dates there really won’t be enough space. I already replied back saying that we were trying to keep the wedding small and are not having +1’s unless the person is in a serious relationship (one groomsmen has been with his gf for 3 years and i’ve hung out with her before) or married. This groomsmen hasn’t had a gf in the 7 years i’ve known him. How would you have responded? At over $100 a plate, we just can’t afford to have everyone bring a date, even if they are in the bridal party. One of my bridesmaids is single and she did not just expect to bring a date or at least she hasnt mentioned it yet. She even said if someone needed to crash in her room then they could (but I won’t be suggesting this groomsmen for more awkwardness lol). Any advice on how I should go about this in the future if it comes up again?
Post # 3
you need to be honest with both of them. say it is 100 dollars a plate and you cant afford to have the plus 1 and to the girl say you had to cut you list to family and really close friends. the earlier the better
Post # 4
OK, first point, why was the groomsman talking to you instead of FI? Anyway, I’m a believer that the rules for dates should be the same for everyone, bridal party included. So if most guests can’t bring a random date, then bridal party can’t either. So Fiance, (preferable to you), needs to tell him that.
Second, why is it so hard for adults to book a room? Aren’t there other hotels in the town? Where I’m from (Australia) I’ve never heard of the bride + groom reserving rooms for their guests. We just assume the guests are adults and know how to book a hotel room. So in your case: groomsman was too slow so needs to book somewhere else – his responsibility, not yours.
Post # 5
We are getting married where I am from so my fiance does not know the area at all. That’s why his groomsmen was asking me. And no we weren’t booking the rooms for anybody, I just sent out reminders that they needed to book rooms before they filled up since the place was small and because it was full the groomsmen was asking for other options in the area. Thanks for the replies though!
Post # 6
Well I’m in the camp that all bridal party members should be allowed to bring a date regardless of if they are dating anyone. Typically, the bridal party puts a lot work into the wedding (planning parties, attending rehearsals, helping with last minute stuff) in addition to doing the couple the honor of standing up with them. They do more than just a regular guest so it’s considered polite to allow them a +1.
I think you should let them bring dates if they want. But if another guest asks about bringing a date, you can just say that you are sorry but are unable to accomodate any +1s.
Post # 7
@PinkAndPearls2013: OK that makes sense. Sorry if my first reply was a bit strong. But I still think it’s better if your Fiance explains the date situation to the groomsmen since they are his friends.