- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
My fiance’s best man is a guy he’s been friends with since elementary school (we’ll call him Shawn). He has always been a really loyal, honest, “shirt off his back” kind of person. And he’s always been so sweet to me and did nothing but sing my praises since me and my fiance started dating.
Shawn is really shy, quiet, and self-concious. He’s perpetually single, hates crowds, strangers, parties, etc.
Another one of my fiance’s groomsmen (we’ll call him Mike) is the total opposite of Shawn. He’s wild and crazy, loves to spend hundreds of dollars every week at the casino and strip club, gets drunk almost every weekend, parties til 4am, etc.
All of a sudden, about 8 months ago, Shawn and Mike started hanging out together A LOT (along with Mike’s wife). It seemed like over night, Shawn went from a quiet, old-fashioned, home body to a party animal who wants to do nothing but party and throw money at strippers.
Still, my fiance did everything he could to maintain a relationship with both of these guys, even though the partying/drinking/strip club deal is NOT his thing at all.
But these 2 CONSTANTLY harrass my fiance about going to the casino, the strip club, and it’s like 7th grade peer pressure when it comes to excessive drinking.
So when it came to his bachelor party, my fiance was VERY clear – no strip clubs (he hates them), no excessive drinking. And for the past year I’ve been texting the best man, Shawn, ideas for the bachelor party, just to be nice (paint ball, camping, a hockey game, brewing their own beer).
So somehow last night, my fiance ends up at this bar/brewery with Mike and Shawn and another friend who is not a groomsmen. And – surprise! – this is actually part 1 of his bachelor party (even though the other 2 groomsmen were not present or even AWARE that this event was taking place).
My fiance was PISSED that the other 2 groomsmen weren’t included (who wouldn’t be?), but he tried having a good time. But then after a few drinks, Shawn and Mike started bugging him to go to the strip club. And once again, like always, my fiance adamantly refused.
So Mike and Shawn got really mad. They started complaining that they were trying to something nice for my fiance and he didn’t appreciate it. They accused him of being unappreciative, and when my fiance got up to go outside and calm down, the other friend (not a groomsmen), said, “Hey, guys, this is supposed to be J’s bachelor party. It’s supposed to be something HE wants to do. Shawn, he’s your best friend. Don’t you know him well enough to know he doesn’t like strip clubs?”
To which Shawn replied, “J has not been my best friend since he started dating (me).”
I feel SO awful for my fiance. He’s obviously really hurt. And I have NO idea how Shawn can say that he’s not my fiance’s best friend. He was there when my fiance’s dad was dying. He was there when my fiance lost his job. He helped us move. And I’m not one of those girls who keeps my man on a short leash – he sees his friends ALL the time. Hell, sometimes his friends come to our place and I’m the only chick.
So….. where the hell is this coming from? Jealousy?
And what the hell do we do? The wedding is in, like, 36 days. We can’t lose 2 groomsmen.
And I’d really hate to see my fiance lose 2 (previously) good friends.