Groomsmen getting ready at our house

posted 3 months ago in Logistics
Post # 18
Member
4986 posts
Honey bee

Your SIL should have  spoken to your husband who in turn should have spoken to you. So she escalated the whole situation, right from the start. If they think it’s cool to have an extension of the bach party the night before the wedding, forget about it. I wouldn’t want that in my house either. If they were just going to stay over I’d feel differently. My house is not party central for a bunch of old frat boys and it’s your husband who needs to make this clear with the SIL.

Post # 19
Member
393 posts
Helper bee

Nope, wouldn’t happen.  I don’t have people overnight in my home if I don’t know them well.  Especially since SIL has expressed concerns over their behavior.

They can stay with/get ready at her FH’s house.

Post # 20
Member
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I wouldn’t want to “host” them either, especially when theyre basically strangers and for their rowdiness. I guess I’m a more private person and am selective in inviting who could stayover in my “precious home” lol. I need my space and do not like sharing space with people I don’t know [well]. 

It was rude of your Future Sister-In-Law to impose such a request on you. Hopefully their house would be finished in time!

Post # 21
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2020

A good friend of mine was actually in your situation, her sister was buying a house and they didn’t know it settlement would go through yet.

They compromised and said that the Groomsmen were more than welcome to drive over the morning of the wedding and get ready together at my friends house (with her boyfriend). But she wasn’t going to have them all stay the night before (for what it’s worth they got their house in time so it didn’t matter).
This might be an option for you to explore? It’s unlikly they would get drunk enough to trash the place in the moring, and groomsmen don’t take that long to get ready so they really don’t HAVE to stay the night before.

Post # 22
Member
758 posts
Busy bee

If they wanted to get ready there in the morning/day of I’d probably be ok with it but that’s only because the hotel room they’d rent to sleep in the night before usually has 11am checkout. My house is not up for Airbnb-ing at someone else’s discretion! 

Post # 23
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

Yeah, I wouldn’t be ok with this either. I may be odd, but I really don’t like having people in my house in general. People I don’t know well, staying the night, and with me not there? That would be a big hell no.

 

Post # 24
Member
653 posts
Busy bee

if I’m so close to the couple that we are in each other’s wedding and also family plus the conversation is only if their own house is not ready and they might be in a pickle I would want to help them out and have no qualms about it, I might have even offered myself. Occasions like weddings are suppose to bring people together and in my family we put our egos aside and help as much as we can. 

Post # 26
Member
1842 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You don’t volunteer my home if you do not live in my home…..You ask.  PERIOD!

Post # 27
Member
4677 posts
Honey bee

If you’re ok with them getting ready in your place instead the day of, perhaps that’s a better situation? I wouldn’t bring it up with her again unless she does. For all you know, this might not even happen. 

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kmbumbee190618 :  

Post # 29
Member
4677 posts
Honey bee

if they end up needing a place to get ready then you must be upfront with her. Yes, it’s not cool for her to volunteer your place. So if it happens, your choices are either to tell her  straight you are not doing it (expect this to result with hurt feelings and that you’ll be ok dealing with the aftermath) or just suck it up for this one time (then decline if something similar comes up in the future).

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kmbumbee190618 :  

Post # 30
Member
12814 posts
Honey Beekeeper

It is your sister-in-law’s responsibility to provide or pay for accomodations, not yours. It would have been up to you to offer and was incredibly rude and inappropriate for her to assume. That’s if they were the most well behaved group in history. 

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