(Closed) groomsmen issues – advice please!!

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: What should fiance do regarding groomsman who's not really a friend anymore?
    Just let it be, don't change anything : (5 votes)
    63 %
    I should discuss the concerns with his wife, my bridesmaid : (1 votes)
    13 %
    He should discuss it with the groomsman (if he would call him back...) : (1 votes)
    13 %
    Ask him not to be a groomsman : (1 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    157 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I don’t think there’s a tactful way to eliminate a groomsman, especially if his wife is a bridesmaid.   You’re pretty much just ending your friendship with both the wife and the groomsman if you ask him to step down. I think you’re just going to have to leave it as is – sorry!

    Post # 4
    6661 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Oooh Oooh!! we have this same exact (almost) situation. We have 5 on each side, my Fiance could have asked 20, he has a million close friends. He asked his cousin out of obligation who accepted, but has since done nothing but complain about his duties and the cost of everything. My Fiance is reeling in anger because he cut out real friends for that spot and now wants to cut out the cousin and include his other close friends who are left out, all while considing the ‘even sides’ argument.

    After careful consideration, we have decided that my FI’s best man (brother) will have a conversation with this cousin behind the scenes about his complaining and encourage the cousin to consider coming as a guest as to not stress him out or bankrupt him. It’s going to be the cousin’s decision which will do one of two things 1) Make him a better groomsman and stop stressing out Fiance, or 2) Demote him from groomsman status opening up a spot. Either way, we are going to ask two of FI’s very close friends to stand and completely throw the ‘even sides’ thought out the window. It’s not important and I’m sure two of my single bridesmaids will absolutely not mind being escorted by two men instead of one.

    Good luck!! 🙂

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