- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2009
Hello Hive, I’m hoping for some good advice to pass along to my groom, this is his decision. Originally it was important to my fiance to have equal # of maids and groomsmen. I have a lot of wonderful close friends, plus his sisters, but I limited my choices to 6 awesome ladies. Initially my mom was really upset because she thought Mike was going to ask only one of my two brothers (he’s like my BFF and the other one is like an alien from another planet) but instead we decided to have neither of my brothers, and I had neither of his sisters, and we are having them be part of the ceremony in other ways. But I digress…
So fiance picked his 6 men, all good friends, plus his younger brother for whom he was the best man. His brother is in the military, and got mobilized to Dubai. Then another military groomsman got mobilized to Afghanistan, and a third to Iraq. We’re VERY proud of our friends by the way!! A fourth is in training to be a state trooper in a random far away state with no airport anywhere nearby, and his mandatory 6 month training where he can’t leave the state starts a week before our wedding. So that leaves him with 2 groomsmen – the best man, who remains local and an awesome friend, and then the husband of one of my maids, who WAS a good friend when we got engaged, but this guy is really just slipping into a lot of old ways and avoiding our group of friends. My fiance (a few weeks ago) asked his youngest brother (13 yrs) to be a groomsman to fill in his side a bit 🙂
So the dilemma is this – my fiance picked his groomsmen because they were people who shared his standards and would keep him accountable to the husband he wants to be. Now that the equal sides are shot to hell anyway, he’s wondering about the groomsman that he never talks to who has turned into a different person, and if he should ask him NOT to be in the wedding. This guy’s wife is still a good friend of mine and one of my bridesmaids.
What do you think? Would it be horribly tacky to ask this guy not to stand up anymore since his wife is a bridesmaid? I’m not worried about symmetry or imbalance. I also think my fiance really feels disappointed that he doesn’t have a group of friends like I have… then again he DOES but they’re all overseas serving the country. Should I talk to the wife of the groomsman? Advice please!