(Closed) Groomsmen leaving early

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 32
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Aww,cut the kid some slack.At least he is trying to do both.

Post # 33
Member
5995 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@OxKimi24:  I think him leaving after dinner is a reasonable compromise. What’s he meant to do after dinner anyway? He’ll have been there for all the most important things. You say you want him to “share in the experience” – and he’ll have done that.

A few days ago there was a post about a family of 6 wanting to leave early to go to a football game. Now *that* is rude, when there are 20+ games per year. But when you’re 17, prom’s a pretty big deal.

Post # 34
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@OxKimi24:  He needs to have this moment.  It will not change your reception.  He’s there for the most important part…to stand up for you all and to witness the marriage.

He AND his Girlfriend deserve to have their prom!

Post # 35
Member
327 posts
Helper bee

I don’t agree that it was “rude” for you to schedule your wedding day on a date that conflicts with prom.  Whether you knew it or not, it’s not your job to plan your wedding date around everyone’s social schedules.

HOWEVER, I think you should be very supportive and upbeat about your soon-to-be brother-in-law going to his prom.  Not to be redundant, since PPs have already said it, but

1) the most important day of YOUR life is not the most important day of HIS life

2) Prom is huge to teenagers!

Most importantly, you want to get off on the right foot with your new family, and being very reasonable and mindful of his feelings will pay off in the long run.

It won’t make much of a difference if you concede but are sulky and resentful about it (I’m not saying you would be), either.  Making it a really small deal will allow you, your Fiance, and his family to have a good time on your wedding day, and enjoy the time you all have together.

Post # 36
Member
1223 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wow, with all these other bees pointing out whats important you are still being self absorbed with the whole situation. You are missing the point! Please read everyone’s advice they are all telling you the same thing!

I’m just in shock at this one.

Post # 38
Member
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@OxKimi24:  Sorry that things got so heated. I totally get where you’re coming from. It really sucks that he’s going to leave early. And it’s okay to be privately upset by that. And it’s okay to share those frustrations on the bee. But I would avoid sharing them wiht  your family or his. And, unofortunately, I think you have to let him go. And not hold it against him. I don’t think it’s going to that big a deal, because you’ll be so busy you probably won’t notice. If there are specific things you want him there for (1st dance, cake, toasts, whatever). Just make sure those happen before or right after dinner. Then he can duck out and enjoy his prom. Because it is really important to a 17 year old. Just try not to let it get to you.

Post # 39
Member
2623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yeah I think you need to let it go, he probably missing a good chunk of his prom and it’s important to him. I think that is more then fair.

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