(Closed) Groomsmen who can't afford their suit

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

How much is the suit?

I mean, there’s not really a good solution here. Like you said, normally I would just suggest paying for it, but your Fiance being out of a job certainly makes that less of a good option.

Other options… if the other groomsmen are friends with him, someone could ask if they’d all be willing to loan Groomsmen $X to get his suit.

Does he have a different suit he could wear? This wouldn’t really be an acceptable option to me but just throwing it out there.

I think I’d be more likely just to put the heat back on him. “John, you can’t afford the suit and we can’t afford to pick it up either, even though we would love to help. It seems like the only options are for you to find a way to borrow the money or for you to step out of the wedding. What do you think we should do?”

Post # 4
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

This sucks and I can see both sides. Sme people don’t have $200 (or whatever) laying around and I get that. I think you should do like PP suggested and just tell him you would cover it but with your Fiance out of work you just can’t and ask what he would like to do. 

Post # 5
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If neither of you can afford it, then he needs to drop out as a Groomsmen.

Post # 6
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@futuremrslennon:  I’m an Aussie and it is absolutely not customary for BM’s/GM to pay for their own outfit. Please don’t generalise a whole nations beliefs on wedding customs.

If you want him to wear that suit, you’ll have to pay for it some how.

Post # 9
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@theone99:  +1 it is actually customary for the bride and groom to pay.

Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We’ve had a similar situation with one of our Groomsmen…getting his suit fitted ….I’ve also got feeling he gonna say he can’t pay for suit..us also have been on a tight budget with it being so close to the wedding and wouldn’t be able to pay for his suit…so I’ve basically told all the Groomsmen…no suit no GM!! I know it sounds harsh but why should you have to fork out for one unreliable person when everyone else has coughed up the money? It’s not fair! he should understand how stressful enough it is planning a wedding!! Without the added stress to yourselves! X x

Post # 11
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@futuremrslennon:  “because of him and his poor priorities”.

Cannot believe I just read that. You don’t him and his partner to have any sort of a life with social activities so they can pay for a suit that you chose, that he will wear for 1 day, and probably never again?

They should cut their losses and back out. It’s not their fault that your partner hasn’t had a job for 4 months. You shouldn’t plan a wedding if you can’t afford it.

Post # 14
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I think that he should step down. I would also wonder about his priorities if he’s had over a year to save up the money, but if he honestly just doesn’t have it and he knows it was expected for him to have the money then hopefully he will be nice about the whole thing and back down. You might have to suggest it to him as an option, though.

Its nice for the bride and groom to pay for the dresses and tuxes, but at least where I am it isn’t expected. I’ve had friends who had bridesmaids and groomsmen back out because they just couldn’t afford the costs of being in the bridal party.

Post # 15
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@futuremrslennon:  you need to think about what u say to ppl before u speak

You said it. You should think about what you type in a thread before you say it. Saying things like “because of him and his poor priorities” can be very hurtful and is kind of disrespectful to the groomsmen.

Your wedding is your number one priority, it will never be anyone elses number one priority.

It is none of your business what another person chooses to spend their hard earnt cash on. Besides which maybe someone else paid for him to go out in Sydney? You know a real friend who has maybe seen that he is struggling and needed a night out?

The fact is that you and your Fiance are currently choosing to prioritise a suit over a friend.

You have a couple of choices- 1.pay for the suit, 2. allow him to purchase something in his price range or to borrow from a friend or 3. kick him out of the wedding and thus ending the friendship and showing that a piece of material means more to you than a friend.

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