Post # 1
I think my fiance and I want to have his two female friends be grooms’men’. I’m trying to figure out the logistics of it though. I have four bridesmaids. I offered to have his two close female friends on my side, but he’d prefer them on his. Afterall, why shouldn’t he have his closest friends standing with him, just because they’re not the ‘right’ sex? My Fiance is an only child and I have one brother. I’d like my brother in the wedding and he has no problem having him be one of the grooms men. So ideally he’d have my brother, his two female friends and we’re not sure about the 4th yet.
I guess some of my questions are:
1. Does this seem weird?
2. I think it would look better if his 4th was male, if it ends up being female, does *that* look strange?
3. Should my brother be on my side if we’re changing things up? I think I’d rather him on his side, mainly because I dont want the bridal party getting too big.
My plan is to have the girls wear a dress that’s the same as my bridesmaid’s but the same color as the groomsmen/man.
In the end, I just want him to be happy 🙂 I guess I’m just a little nervous about what some of the more traditional family members will think.
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s weird at all. I think you can have an odd number of bridal party members if you need, too. I was a bridesmaid for an uneven # of bridal party members., I had to walk up the aisle alone. No biggie.
We have one groom’s lady. We decided to have her dressed like the bridemaids but she’ll stand on the FI’s side.
Post # 4
@ImaStarr: Ugh. I’m in the same boat; my fiancée wants his (female) friend to be one of his attendants. I don’t mind the idea per se, but I absolutely HATE the idea for me. We’ll have 6 attendants each and she’ll be the only off-gender person. The lack of symmetry kills me. And, to further compound matters, I’m pretty opposed to having her wear a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress and most certainly against a tux. I considered:
- Asking her to just be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. after all, they consider themselves to have a sibling type relationship and his sister is one of my attendants. But she really wants to plan his stuff and I don’t want her to feel like she has to partake in all the Bridesmaid or Best Man stuff/obligations nor do I want the other BMs to feel like she’s not doing anything.
- Asking her to read. this is my preferred option, but doesn’t exactly convey the same honor as being a member of the wedding party
- Asking her to be an honorary groomsman. But the message boards seem to indicate that such a title is more of an insult than anything.
SO, I guess I’m going to roll with it and put her in a diff color Bridesmaid or Best Man dress or something that matches the groomsmen with a wrist corsage. It will drive me nuts everytime I look at the photos -something I’ll need to address with the photographus, for sure – but if that’s the worst thing about the wedding and it makes him happy, then whatever. *sigh*
Post # 5
@calipanthergrl: Our wedding is in less than 3 weeks and he will have the girls on his side 🙂 In the end any hesitation I had about it seemed silly. It’s his wedding too and while it may not have been what I had in mind look wise, those girls are his closest friends and of course should be there with him.
If you’re worried about it looking off, I think it’s a great idea to have her dress match the color of the groomsmen suits. In the end we went with a nonmatching bridal party, so it wasn’t really an issue for us.
Post # 6
Please don’t try to keep her from being a groomsman. Your Fiance deserves to have the people closest to him up there on his wedding day, and symmatry is not a good enough reason to deny him that.
Fiance is having three male groomsmen. I’m having one female and two male bridesmaids. I would be crushed if Fiance tried to take that away from me over pictures.
Post # 7
Wedding parties are all about who is closest to the bride and groom so it’s not weird at all! FH and I have an uneven number of people so one of my girls is being double-escorted and I have a bridesman on my side 🙂
Post # 8
I was one of two female grooms”men” in a party of 7 people on each side!!!! Actually, since the men called themselves ushers, Myself and the other one called ourselves “flushers” (female ushers, ha!).
Honestly, it was great and not at all weird. I happened to have been friends with the groom for 10 years, and met his bride when they got together so I have always been his friend more.
The ladies wore purple dresses, the groom and men wore black tuxes and myself and the other girl wore black dresses.
It was a traditional church ceremony and no one looked twice at us when we came up the aisle in black. For other logistics, when it came time to have the bridal party dance, our dates and the dates of the two Bridesmaid or Best Man just stood up and came onto the floor and danced with us, so there were no girls dancing with girls (simply because we all had opposite sex dates).