(Closed) Group B-list email: rude or thoughtful?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be offended, or not?
    Offended : (20 votes)
    71 %
    Not offended : (8 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think an email was too impersonal, but the idea behind it is nice.

    Post # 4
    Member
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I would have thought rude, would have been better to call them personally especially since it’s only a small group.  But if that’s how you usually communicate with them than I don’t think they’d be offended.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    As a coworker I’m not offended by the sentiment but I do this email is a tad bit impersonal.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    On the Bee, a lot of people will tell you it’s offensive. However, I think it REALLY depends on the group of people you’re inviting.

    I invited my sorority sisters this way… I only joined the sorority in February, so I didn’t even know those girls until after we’d made the guest list and booked everything, and we didn’t have the capacity for them. Once we got RSVPs back we did, and I told them basically what you told your coworkers, but I knew they would be happy, not offended.

    Were you going to have a family only wedding before? If it was family only and you’re now able to invite friends, I think that’s one thing, but if you already invited some friends and these were people even farther out from “close friends,” I think I might feel a little awkward about it, honestly, but maybe not quite offended.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @jules28:  Well, you know them better than we do… some people would be offended, I personally knew my sorority sisters wouldn’t be… so if you feel like they’ll be more excited and honored than offended, then I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Normally I would ssy its no OK, but given the situation I think it IS OK. But like PPs said its a bit impersonable and I would call them all individually to follow up.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2584 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @jules28:  Out of curiosity, are any of them married or engaged? If not, then I don’t think the guest thing is that bad, although I would be put off if someone had invited me to a wedding without Darling Husband (or Fiance when we were engaged).

    Post # 13
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    It is not polite to tell anyone they were Blist guests. Because it is not polite to have Blist guests.

    I would decline an invitation to an event if I got an email like this. Sorry.

    As for people not being offended. You never know, because if they themselves were polite enough to think Blists distasteful enough to not attend, then they would also likely be polite enough to keep their mouths shut and fein a prior commitment.

    Post # 15
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Stop beating yourself up about it! As PP’s have said, you know them best. It depends on your situation and relationships with them. I think you worded it nicely and if you follow it up in person, it would be even better 🙂

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