(Closed) Group of three friends, only one of them a bridesmaid

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?
    Talk to the two friends. : (4 votes)
    27 %
    Ask the bridesmaid what she thinks. : (2 votes)
    13 %
    Don't say anything. : (9 votes)
    60 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    wedo016:  Please don’t say that, it would just make things awkward. Carry on with your friendship as usual with these two women. Don’t go out of your way to bring up the fact that you didn’t ask them to be bridesmaids, but don’t shy away from any mention of your bridal party either. If they are mature like you said, I doubt it will be a big deal.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2758 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    Agreed, there’s no need to tell them at all. If they are good friends but not your best friend, they’ll figure it out and either be happy to just be a guest (this is usually my attitude; I don’t have to wear an ugly dress in an unflattering color, yay!) or get over themselves without involving you. That’s what real grownups do.

    Of course, I had a friend never forgive me for not making her sister and herself bridesmaids (and we weren’t even that close!), but if they do, you don’t need people like that in your life.

    Post # 4
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    “I’ve read plenty of women on here that were hurt that they found out secondhand that they weren’t a bridesmaid and wished the bride would have said something to them directly.”

    Who assumes they are going to be someone’s bridesmaid?! Seriously, can you just decide you are in someone’s bridal party without being asked by the bride then be hurt when you find out that actually, you wrong to assume you automatically got a place?

    Anyway, no I don’t think you need to feel bad just chosing the one you’re still close to. Chances are the other women already know you aren’t as close anymore and if not, you’re still under no obligation to have them as BM’s.

    I honestly wouldn’t go out of my way to mention it to them though. The whole ‘she’s a representative of the group’ just sounds like youre feeling guilty (which you shouldn’t be) and will make things awkward. I would just not mention it but when the wedding conversations come up, which they will and should do, if they ask about your decision, just be honest and say you weren’t going to have anyone but chose to have one person and you chose the person you have the closer relationship too. If they’re mature as you say, they’ll understand.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2156 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Just asking the one, I don’t think you need to contact the other two. If, however, you asked 2 of the 3, then yes – that would require some explanation since its seems like you’re purposely excluding her (that’s what most of the posts you’ve seen have been about – being the only one left out). 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3423 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I had a group like that they were all in my Bridal Party, we were all in onother one’s Bridal Party,  Only one of us were in one’s Bridal Party and one isn’t married yet.

    I wasn’t in the 3rd one’s Bridal Party and I didn’t care,  She didn’t tell me expicitly, and I’d think it is wierd.  I don’t think our other firend cared either.  We all went to the wedding adn had a good time.

    I don’t know why people get so upset, but they do.  Hope your friends will be mature about it.

    The topic ‘Group of three friends, only one of them a bridesmaid’ is closed to new replies.

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