(Closed) Growing guest list

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
45667 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Mrs.-Dragon:  If you are old enough to get married and you are paying for the wedding, you can say NO. You can tell FMIL that she gets a certain number of guests and that’s it. If there is capacity at the venue and you are ok with more guests, you can tell her if she wants any more guests, she will have to cover the costs.

Post # 3
802 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Since you are paying you have the final say in who is invited and who isn’t. If you want 80-90 people you need to tell your parents. You can give each parent unit a certain number of invites, that’s it. FI and I are paying so we had the final say in everything. We wanted a small wedding so we’re having a small wedding. It should be a lot less drama. If they still give you a hard time, tell them pay for the extra people and quote them a price. 

Post # 4
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Mrs.-Dragon:  If you’re paying, you get to tell each parental set that they get x amount of guests, any over and they get to pay for them. 

For us, adding 10 people will jump us up $3000. My mom keeps adding and adding until my half of the guest list is over 50% of her guests – they actually outnumber the friends I’m inviting on my side. Most of them are relatives/friends I have either never met or maybe see once a year. Plus, quite a few of them I really don’t like due to their prior behavior in the family. I sent her the spreadsheet containing all the people and the data saying who each guest ‘belongs’ to, and said alright Momma – I know you won’t like this, but you can’t have this many people. We are WAY over the guest budget, and since most of them are from your list of ‘wants’, please cut x amount of guests. I’ll give her some time to choose, but if she refuses to pick, well….x amount will be cut, because we don’t have an extra three thousand plus floating around. Sometimes you just have to gently put down some rules, because I would agree – weddings do the weirdest things to people!

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