(Closed) grown children – invites?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Do the invites by household! I live by the rule that if you live on your own you are an adult and have your own “family” even if it just consists of you!

So each older girl gets their own and the parents and the youngest are on the same one!

Post # 4
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I believe that the correct way would be to send them to each house, parents w/ kid at home, then each other child individually.  But, I am in the same situation with you in the area of grown children and decided that I am only sending them to the parents and adressing them to the whole “family”.  There will be a few exceptions in the way of cousins who are married with children getting their own just to make it a little simpler when trying to figure out numbers.

I am doing that more for the sake of money.. I don’t want to waste money sending invites to kids who live a block from theri parents.  Heck, even my bro and SIL said just to put their RSVP with my moms invite so I don’t have to mail 2 things to the same town…. Why waste the postage… I know they are coming..

Post # 5
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I am going with the “if you’re over 18 you get your own invitation.”  Even if it means sending 3 invitations to one address.  I was included on an invitation that went to my parents after I’d been living own my own for over 10 years (half that time in a house that I bought).  The bride’s family asked why they hadn’t received a response from me.  My response was that I was not invited to the wedding.  I felt no obligation to respond or to send a gift.

Post # 6
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

i agree that it should be done by household.  Also even when you address it to the Smith Family, somewhere on the reply card or the inner envelope, you should list out those people who are invited so there is no confussion who is considered to be in the Smith Family.

Post # 9
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I don’t think the college student cousin will care if she doesn’t receive her own invite & she’s “lumped” with her parents 🙂

haha I had this issue with a few of my cousins… I plan on just sending one invite to my aunt & letting her tell them they’re invited. They’re my age (early-mid 20’s), single and they totally wouldn’t even reply if I sent them an invite. Why waste my money & stamps!? lol

Post # 10
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d put the 18 year old on the parents invite. I don’t think she’ll mind that much, she still lives at home so it should be fine. 

Post # 11
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

1 address = 1 invitation as far as I’m concerned.  The baby of the family lives at home, so she can be included with her parents.  The other children have moved out and have their own addresses, so they should get their own invitations.

Post # 12
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ve also struggled with this. My bigger concern is that my invites are going out in June, when college students addresses are the least predictable. If someone is out of college and has a predictable address – they get their own invite. If they live at home, are still in college or move every 3 or 4 months, then – sorry- your invite is going to your parents. I know this isn’t typical etiquette but it seems like the most reasonable option for me.

Post # 13
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Etiquette says that anyone over 18 should get their own invitation.  We did this because we allowed everyone to have a guest.

Post # 14
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree that 18 or older gets their own invite.

Post # 15
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

When I was a college student, I don;t think I had the attention span to respond to an RSVP.  I’d send the college girl & the youngest with the parent’s invite & send separate invites to the older girls.

Post # 16
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We did ours as mix of age and who gets a guest. We gave most people over 21 a guest. We figured why spend all the money on open bar and have 18 and 19 years old bring guests. But similarily we have a 20 year old cousin in college and an 18year old cousin in high school. We sent one invite to the family house hold. But for my other cousin who us 22 and graduating college in May, we sent the invite with guest to her college address. I took the approach of everyone getting a guest got their own invite and then I went by household…

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