(Closed) Grr!! Venting…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Does misery like company?

I told all my ideas to a good friend of mine. And then she copied them–to the letter–BUT (and here’s the real insult) not for her wedding, for the morning-after brunch (to which EVERYONE was invited to)! So it wasn’t enough that she got to have her one night in the spotlight, she had to take my ideas for her morning-after spotlight!

The cold, hard truth is that you can’t copyright wedding ideas. I suggest that you try and keep mum about as much as you can with your bridesmaids. The silver lining is that even if your colors are similar, you will undoubtedly express them in completely different ways, just as the same dress will still look different on two different women, especially with your accessories.

In fact, my suggestion is that you find some accessory that makes your ensemble ‘pop’–a cool necklace, kickass shoes, a feather in your hair–whatever, because in all honesty, no one will remember your dress beyond the fact it was white and had x silhouette–but they will remember that personal little detail.

Post # 4
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If there are any other ideas you have that you love, maybe keep them under your hat until they have made up their minds about their wedding plans?

Have you heard the saying that imitation is the highest form of flattery? Though I know it doesn’t make it any less annoying when it happens.

Post # 5
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

So sorry to hear what is happening to you. These are suppose to be your friends… My suggestion is to talk to the bee’s about your plans at least if they “borrow” ideas you will never know…

Post # 6
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’d suggest not telling your BMs all your ideas if you don’t want them to replicate those ideas.  Double for the dress.  They can’t “steal” what they don’t know about.

Post # 7
671 posts
Busy bee

OMG!!! I would KILL her! it is a HUGE deal!!! We put so much time and effort into our weddings and try to make it personal and fall in love with out vision, for someone to steal them is soooooooo WRONG! I suggest not telling them anything until they have paid money on their own ideas! at least this way they will be less inclined to take your ideas and have to pay for everything over again! wait until they are financially invested in their own ideas! OR you could be really cross and announce it to all of your girls and joke about how no one should steal THIS new idea, but that would be pretty passive aggressive and people would start thinking you’re a bridezilla lol. 

Post # 8
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had the same problem, though not with a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I completely changed the theme of my wedding, and haven’t spoken to her since.  It’s seemed to work well.  If someone asks, just say you want your wedding to be a total surprise.  Once they get their dresses, they’ll clearly have an inkling as to your color scheme, but at this point their details are probably getting more concrete and they won’t be able to change them.  I hate the “my wedding is before yours” trump card…but unfortunately you really don’t have any intellectual property on your wedding theme :(.

And remember–imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (though it’s still super infuriating that people take your ideas!)!

Post # 9
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had a problem where I had to stop sharing my details with my Future Cousin in Law. She is marrying my cousin and stole my date, colors, flowers, and I stopped before she could steal anything else!

Post # 11
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@klb2748:Maybe it is better to keep some details about your special day to yourself or between you and FH sometimes.

I completely understand not telling anyone your baby name. My son was 4 years old when my friend had here son. She named him the same name as my son! I was like WTF….seriously, who does that!

So now I, too keep all of my wedding plans between myself and FH.

Post # 12
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think it’s rude to steal another person’s ideas.  At least have the decency to not copied the entire thing.  Sure you like lace on the dress, find another dress with lace.  If they like your colors they should only pick one color to copy not the entire thing.  The only highlight would be that even though she may have stolen your dress, there’s no garentee that it’ll look faboulous on her.  I had a friend who got married 5 months before me and when looking for dresses I wouldn’t even try on her dress since I know she’s getting it.  Thankfully she gave me the same curtesey and didn’t try on my dress when she was still unsure about hers. i would stop telling them your ideas. 

Post # 13
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Only share your idea’s with someone who you know doesn’t have the same style as you. A good friend of mine is getting married a few weeks before me and we share details, but we are two comepletly different people. I could say I was having my wedding in a bamboo forest and my bridal party will be dressed in ninja gear. She would smile, say it’s cool, and go about her planning. Never in a million years will I get an email from her saying “Oh hey MIss Tattoo!! We found this great bamboo forest and a discount on ninja suits! We are going to have a bamboo forest ninja wedding just like you!”

You have a year to go. If I were you I wouldn’t share every single detail of your wedding with anyone. There are some things you should keep to yourself so people are surprised.

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