(Closed) Grrr, I have a life, you know!

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’d be annoyed by it, too. If you weren’t leaving in a few months, I’d actually be pretty concerned that they are so antagonistic about something outside the office for fear that it could negatively affect your status for advancement. They are out of line. But! You’re leaving, so hugs till then!

Post # 4
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i would also be annoyed! that’s really not cool that these “events” are that “encouraged” like that. thank goodness you’re leaving, it sounds like a really toxic work environment.

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, that’s really cheeky of your boss and coworkers to put so much pressure on you. The thing is, the reason coworkers do this is because THEY would rather be lounging on their own couches staring at the TV, but they go b/c of peer pressure and call you out since they don’t think it’s ‘fair’. I know this because I am totally just like you and never attend after work events unless I HAVE to. Plus, coworkers do the same thing for employees who show up late to work or take too long a lunch, they totally notice and make sure everyone else knows too.

Your boss shouldn’t say that to you though. You can report him to HR for creating a hostile work environment. You aren’t getting paid to attend the after work event AND you have a serious medical condition that you need to devote every extra minute to.

Where are you going in a few months? Are you going back to school or getting a new job? Does your employer know it now?

Post # 6
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

You should maybe move around your appointments? Is he kidding?? Let’s see here…yearly cancer screening, or going to the bar with people I don’t feel like hanging out with? Tough decision!

I’m really sorry they’re giving you so much grief. I feel your pain – my coworkers do the same thing to me. I’m married and have an hour and a half commute each way. I leave my house at 6:30am and don’t get home until 6:30pm. The last thing I want to do is go out with the people I just spent 10 hours with! Heck no! I want to go home to my house that I barely get to live in and see my husband who I see for a only few hours every day.

The same thing goes for vacation time. My boss insists that I dial into every call that we have, whether I’m taking a vacation day or not. I’m going on vacation…like actually to the beach all next week, yet I have to dial into a call from 3pm – 5pm on Tuesday. Seriously dude? You can’t do without me for one call? I have a LIFE you know!!!  

Post # 7
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

That’s awful! Why does your boss care if you go to the outside of work events? Oh man…glad you are leaving in a few months and happy about that. Sounds like a lot of pressure!

Post # 8
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I find it really, really odd that your co-workers and employer are disappointed that you don’t take the time to attend after-work-hours bar hops and stuff. Seriously? That’s too bizarre. I wouldn’t go just because I didn’t want to. But considering you have medical reasons for your absence, it’s unbelievable of them to give you grief about it!

Post # 9
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

What jerks…

Silver lining? hmm…. They like you!  I mean if you were disliked they’d probably be super happy you’re not at the outings so they could talk smack about you.  Everytime someone’s a jerk about this you can think “they like me, they really LIKE me” and then ignore them.

Post # 11
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

If I’m expected to attend, then I’m expecting to be paid. If I’m not, then I’ll gladly go back home where my extraordinary life belongs.
Not that I don’t like my job and the people that I work with, but this is work. Not a priority outside of required work hours.

Now who sounds bitchy?! 😉

Post # 13
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

That is crazy! I am glad to hear you only have a few more months. Hang in there!

I know that networking is important, but midnight drinkfest during the week? Seriously?

Post # 14
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yeah, I also think you are totally justified in not going out every single time.  It isn’t like you NEVER go.  You make an effort and go a few times a year, and I personally think that is already more than an employee should be expected to do.  Everyone has lives outside of work!  I mean come on – comparing drinking at the bar with your annual tests to make sure you are still very much healthy?  There is NO contest.  I hope this other career ends up working out for you because you really deserve so much more than it sounds like this place can offer you!  Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was in an almost identical situation at my former job.  I went to all of the ‘organized’ dinners and parties, but I only went to 1 or 2 weeknight happy hours.  The company was huge on partying together and being ‘friends’ outside of work.  I actually had a higher up come up to me and chastise me for not going to more happy hours.  I couldn’t believe I had to explain to married adults, most of whom with children, why I didn’t want to go out drinking with people from work on a weeknight!  Just be glad you are getting out of there. I am sure glad I did 😉

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