(Closed) GRRRR Vent about SO

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 32
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee

Texting like nothing happenEd is probably him stewing at home alone with his thoughts and realizing he was a d*ickhead. That’s prob his form of an apology.

Post # 34
Member
6329 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Amerie27:  After reading all your responses, I learned from this that you two haven’t quite “learned” how to argue. For my Fiance and I, the first year of our relationship, whenever we got into arguments,  it turned into discussing how we can argue better without escalating the problem at hand. I feel like the majority of arguments are fueled by responses, and if you can’t respond without adding fuel, then you both will just get more angry. 

I guess my advice would be to sit down and talk to him about arguing when he’s feeling 100% better. Let him know that you’ve realized everything is wonderful with you two, but when you argue, it’s the worst thing in the world (or however you would describe it). Ask him what you do/say during arguments that make things worse for him, and let him know what he does… then discuss how you two can communicate your problems more effectively and what steps you need to take to make sure one of you doesn’t blow up at the other.

If things don’t improve with your arguing at all, couples counseling may help, just so there’s a mediator in the room.

Since my Fiance and I learned how to argue, I can’t even recall the last time we were really mad at each other. We resolve things so quickly and accept/apologize if we know we’re being out of line and/or emotional. 

Best of luck, darling. I hope you have a better day!

Post # 38
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

That’s how i feel when i don’t get my coffee. Once i get it, its like i forget everything that happened prior to drinking my coffee. It’s totally normal lol  

Post # 40
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Amerie27:  it’s like in the movies where you switch bodies lol

i feel bad for my Fiance sometimes too but he said he wont wake me up because he already saw how angry i get. It was actually the funniest thing ( i work nights) and my Fiance stopped by one day for something and my mom came into my room waking me up. I woke up out of my bed so quick yelling and throwing stuff down stairs that my Fiance felt bad because he had my mom wake me up. i was like did you learn your lesson ? Good now never wake me up again unless the house is burning. He is the complete opposite and wakes up right away.

 

Post # 42
Member
2033 posts
Buzzing bee

My SO is kind of grumpy in the morning too, well, so are a lot of people so I don’t know the extent his behavior was just sort of normal grumpy, but I agree with SeaOfLove you have to work on how you two interact. I have an ex who was like that, he would make me miserable and sad all day refusing to forgive me over something stupid. It was tough and I won’t deal with that again!

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