posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should I:

    Stick to it and just run with what she wants

    Gracefully step down

    Something else (tell me in a comment please, i'm begging!)

  • Post # 3
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    If yu can’t afford it (no matter the style) just say I’m honored BUT, in terms of cost I really don’t think I can afford the dress… and then the ball is in HER court.

    Post # 4
    1796 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    This is a tough one. On the one hand, I’d be pissed about being jerked around by her and offended to be asked as a replacement Bridesmaid or Best Man. To me that kind of seems worse than not asking at all, but maybe I’m petty. On the other hand, if declining will probably start a firestorm of anger and drama with your sister and she may be offended that you’re declining her offer of an olive branch. So basically, it’s tough to give advice here. Maybe you can tell her you are honored and will be happy to help with the wedding, but you can’t afford a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.

    Post # 7
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    You should be able to tell your sister the truth and I’d hope she isn’t upset.  If you can’t afford it.. you can’t.

    Post # 8
    4304 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would step down.  I mean, unless it’s super important to you, otherwise her wedding mishaps in the wedding party are not your problem to fix.

    Post # 9
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Do you have any friends similar to your size?  Ask them to check their closets if they have anything you can borrow.  If you find something, tell bride that you can’t afford a new dress, but you borrowed one that is suitable. 

    Also, check the kijiji and craigslist.  You might find something cheap. 

    Post # 11
    5072 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    replacement BM?  no thanks.  If I wasn’t good enough to ask in the first place. .

    that being said I would not stand up.  I’d go as a guest in my original dress.

    Post # 12
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    If you can’t afford it then talk to your sister about it. For the dress itself I don’t think you can really ask her to change the colour for all the dresses but for the length I would hope she would be willing to let you get the same style but longer. I wouldn’t make my sister wear something she felt was too short, a colour she didn’t love, maybe, but something she’d feel naked in? No.

    Post # 13
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I personally would have to say “Thank you but no thank you.”

    Post # 14
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    “That’s nice, but I’ll decline. It’s okay to have uneven sides, you know” 

    She doesn’t need understudies for her wedding. I’m not sure I’d be offended by being asked to be a backup, necessarily. I personally wouldn’t do it, though.

    Upon reading your other post, you were upset by the fact that she didn’t choose you for the wedding. Even more reason to politely decline and wear the dress you love, as a guest. 

    The topic ‘GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!’ is closed to new replies.

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