Post # 1
SO… I went through all the trouble of writing this thread about my sisters wedding and what I should wear, as I am completely ANTI PINK! now all-a-sudden she finds out one of her bridesmaids may be dropping out of her wedding o_O.. and has now asked me to be a back-up bridesmaid, my green and white polka dotted dress just wont cut it.. if i wind up in the wedding… her wedding date is SOON (like AUGUST soon) and she has yet to pick out dresses for her normal maids (let alone a back-up maid) and she wants them to wear SHORT dresses, another NOT-SO-ME thing.. I mean, i know they say “wear what the bride wants” but now i’m conflicted because i’m honored she asked me (even if it is in a stand-in position) but what am i to do?? i really dont have the money to spend 100+ on a dress i likely wont wear again that is A)PINK and B) SHORT.. I dont know if i should withdraw my yes, or what… SOOO CONFUSED!! HELP! (I have not bought the dress i want *yet* almost ordered it on saturday)
Post # 3
If yu can’t afford it (no matter the style) just say I’m honored BUT, in terms of cost I really don’t think I can afford the dress… and then the ball is in HER court.
Post # 4
This is a tough one. On the one hand, I’d be pissed about being jerked around by her and offended to be asked as a replacement Bridesmaid or Best Man. To me that kind of seems worse than not asking at all, but maybe I’m petty. On the other hand, if declining will probably start a firestorm of anger and drama with your sister and she may be offended that you’re declining her offer of an olive branch. So basically, it’s tough to give advice here. Maybe you can tell her you are honored and will be happy to help with the wedding, but you can’t afford a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.
Post # 5
@msfahrenheit: that is my thought exactly, but i also in a way think shes screwing her bridesmaids around by not having selected dresses by now.. i mean they’re gonna have to pay for rush shipping and have issues with alterations *she tells me they’re all tiny waisted and huge boobed* if she doesnt get her ass in gear… i dont even really HAVE an official date yet, and i have dresses picked out for my girls as of this past saturday… maybe im just overly prepared..
Post # 6
*bump* any other opinions?
Post # 7
You should be able to tell your sister the truth and I’d hope she isn’t upset. If you can’t afford it.. you can’t.
Post # 8
I would step down. I mean, unless it’s super important to you, otherwise her wedding mishaps in the wedding party are not your problem to fix.
Post # 9
Do you have any friends similar to your size? Ask them to check their closets if they have anything you can borrow. If you find something, tell bride that you can’t afford a new dress, but you borrowed one that is suitable.
Also, check the kijiji and craigslist. You might find something cheap.
Post # 11
replacement BM? no thanks. If I wasn’t good enough to ask in the first place. .
that being said I would not stand up. I’d go as a guest in my original dress.
Post # 12
If you can’t afford it then talk to your sister about it. For the dress itself I don’t think you can really ask her to change the colour for all the dresses but for the length I would hope she would be willing to let you get the same style but longer. I wouldn’t make my sister wear something she felt was too short, a colour she didn’t love, maybe, but something she’d feel naked in? No.
Post # 13
I personally would have to say “Thank you but no thank you.”
Post # 14
“That’s nice, but I’ll decline. It’s okay to have uneven sides, you know”
She doesn’t need understudies for her wedding. I’m not sure I’d be offended by being asked to be a backup, necessarily. I personally wouldn’t do it, though.
Upon reading your other post, you were upset by the fact that she didn’t choose you for the wedding. Even more reason to politely decline and wear the dress you love, as a guest.