(Closed) grrrrr…waiting

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Is it worse waiting with or without the ring having been purchased?
    with ring : (33 votes)
    43 %
    without ring : (30 votes)
    39 %
    about the same : (14 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I can only give my opinion which is from a person who is waiting without a ring.

    IMO, If I knew my SO had the ring already/had been ring shopping/was saving for a ring it would be a floppity jillion times better than where I am at right now..

    All I am doing these days is thinking about “the ring” because not knowing if he has it or not is making me question everything. I have days where I wonder if marrying me what he really wants, and has he not bought a ring yet because he isn’t sure he sees us together forever? or will he ever buy a ring? has he bought is now and I just don’t know about it?.

    At least with a ring you know that he has 100% made up his mind about marrying you, its coming sometime in the near future..

    Post # 4
    Member
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    my anxiety about waiting WENT THROUGH THE ROOF when I found out he had bought amd ordered the ring because after that every day you want to look picture perfect and become super suspicous of every date night… not fun! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1483 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I think I would be more stressed, and thinking that any and every “special occasion” – like going out to dinner or out anywhere really – would be it. I’m already driving myself crazy knowing it’s half paid off, and wondering when he’s going to pay off the other half…

    *Sigh* I really thinking there’s no winning in waiting haha.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3248 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @Brickette:  Yyyyyuupp, I totally agree with you. It really sucks not having that assurance that he REALLY wants to be with you.

    Post # 7
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    @Creiddylad:  I’m SOOOOO glad I’m not the only one who thinks this way.. I’ve been getting worse lately because we have been together so long! (6 years)

    Post # 8
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I voted for “without ring”… I’ll admit to being super nervous/impatient/crazy once the ring was purchased, but knowing 100% that the proposal is imminent, for me, was way better than wondering when/if it was ever going to happen.. Once the ring was purchased, I did go crazy as I said, but I also told myself that these are my last days being un-engaged EVER, and tried to enjoy waiting with that in mind 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    3248 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    @Brickette:  It is horrible. I have been with my SO for 4 years and it’s really starting to bother me. After Valentine’s Day I am going to have to seriously bring it up with him and figure out what is going on in his head, and clarify how stressed I am about it. Ugh.

    Post # 10
    Member
    951 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I thought I was waiting without a ring all summer (turns out FI was just being sneaky). It was so frustrating. We’d had the ‘time to get married’ conversation in February 2012 and it seemed like it would be imminent. 6 months later… well, we didn’t get engaged til September!

    It was all I could do to not bother him about getting a ring every couple weeks. I honestly didn’t think he had it, and thought he was dragging his feet! He is terrible at planning stuff and I figured he just didn’t realize that you can’t just walk into a store and grab a ring. I probably shouldn’t have doubted so much!

    I don’t know how it would have felt knowing that he had the ring for more than 2 months. I think it would have been better, because I would know that he had the ring and was ready, and serious! Instead of how I did feel, which was doubt because I didn’t think he’d bothered to get a ring after more than 6 months past our big talk. If I’d known he had the ring, I would have just kept my mouth shut and waited for the right moment to come along!

    Post # 11
    Member
    624 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @Brickette And @Creiddylad I’m with you both!! I have zero idea if he bought the ring yet or not and that is how he wants It. I won’t know he has the ring until it’s on my finger haha. Makes it really frustrating to not have a clue right?!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1069 posts
    Bumble bee

    Right now I’m going without the ring. At least when he has the ring you know he actually does intend on doing it (hopefully!). Without the ring it’s all totally up in the air. However, keeping the ring too long makes the guy seem like an asshole and it’s just an evil thing to do!

    We’ll see how I feel about this in a few weeks though.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    @Brickette:  I agree. I’m almost at 6 years, and it’s driving me nuts

    Post # 15
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee

    I voted with the ring. He has had it coming up on 1 year.  Talk about something making you doubt if he wants to get married! I think at this point I wish he didn’t have it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2145 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I think it’s hard in two different ways. If he doesn’t have the ring, it can leave you wondering not only when its going to happen, but on the bad days maybe even if. Or ‘when’ can seem SO far off sometimes. With a ring, at least he has one and you know it will be relatively soon. BUT, its probably torture because you know it’s so close and just want it to happen haha! TL;DR waiting sucks 

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