(Closed) GRUMP: Thanks are responsibility of Bride AND Groom

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I definately think he should be helping out with thank you notes! Here’s a pen honey!

Post # 4
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I pretty much wrote all of them since my husband has the handwriting of a drunk 5 year old, bless his heart. I did have him write them to his grandparents that funded the rehearsal dinner and to his coworkers that I hadn’t met before. It sucked, but I figured I’d pick my battles!

Post # 5
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Idk I wrote all of mine… I just see it as something that’s easy for me to do and hard for him to do. I’m also not one to cause an argument. Writing the thank you cards wasn’t worth an argument to me so I just did them all. I DID make Darling Husband do his parents and groomsmen’s thank you notes though because I thought those should come from him. It took him like 3 months and I was embarrassed because mine went out two weeks after the wedding.

Not that I think this should always be a woman’s responsibility, but I’ve never received a thank you written from the groom. Normally the wives write 100% of birthday cards, thank yous and Christmas cards that I receive. I’m not even sure what my grandpas’ handwriting even looks like.

Post # 6
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I wrote 95% of all of our thank you cards. I only asked my Darling Husband to write the cards for his groomsmen and parents and it was like pulling teeth!!!

Post # 7
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I agree with you. I expect fi to be my partner is doing all this wedding stuff he doesn’t get a pass because he is a guy. It would also be annoying to even have to nagg him to get it done.

Post # 8
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

The bride writing all the thank you notes is the traditional etiquette from long ago. When I was writing mine I did some research and the Emily Post website talked about the bride writing them and the Martha Stewart website said that modern day etiquette is leaning toward the groom doing his side ad the bride doing hers. In the end I did all of mine because I’m the writer in the family, but for the people I didn’t know I wrote “we.” For some of his family I wrote it from me thanking them specifically for things like, welcoming me into the family or helping with this or that. The only two I made him do he sat for at least half Hour deciding what to write and then said, so what am I supposed to write here? 

Post # 9
16195 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’ll be honest. I wrote all of mine. My husband (then FI) started to write the first one and made a silly spelling error in the middle. He was so afraid that I’d be upset he’d messed it up. I pretty much took over from there out, haha.

Post # 11
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s a battle, definitely. I can’t speak for all men, but I think for my husband, thank you notes don’t really register as an important show of etiquette in his man brain.

I’ve received thank yous in the past from either the bride alone or the bride and groom writing two separate messages (much more rare). Originally I thought, “Ok we’ll both write thank yous.” Then it turned into “Ok, I’ll write thank yous to my friends and family, he’ll write to his.” Thank yous take a lot of time to do, and I’ve been doing them in small batches. I’ve finally finished my share and all are sent out. My husband has yet to write a single one.

I even tried giving him my parents card yesterday and told him to write something. He didn’t. I sent him to work with the card and envelope today and told him he has to sign it and send it out before he comes home. I’m getting embarrassed that we haven’t sent a single note to any of his friends or family yet. As a result, I’ve given up on waiting for him to write them because we’re approaching two months since we got married. I’m going to do as many of his today as possible.

Post # 13
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I will most likely end up writing them all because I want to get them done and over with. Hopefully I can get him to write at least a few of his (parents, best man) but really, he will try to put it off. I also want to get ours done and out before we leave for our honeymoon 2 weeks after the wedding!

Post # 15
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

Is there any way to compromise? I wrote all the thank you cards while he stuffed, stamped and addressed them for me. Hahaha teamwork baby!

Post # 16
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kay01 I think it’s a skill that women are just better at? At least in my DH’s case he has horrendous handwriting, misspellings, he’s super slow etc. Whereas I can pump out lovely, heartfelt cards in like 30 seconds.

I haven’t met too many guys who can write a better thank you note than their wives/girlfriends.

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