(Closed) "Guess what? You're not my only grandchild getting married this July!"

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
3240 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Same as I say to every other bride. You get one day. Deal. Move on. I had a double wedding with my brother and now SIL. My Maid/Matron of Honor got more attention than me on the day because she is literally so beautiful people ask her if she is on TV. I loved my day. I didn’t care. I married DH. Twas perfect.

Post # 3
Member
5211 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
amanda.417:  The 18 year old cousin sounds pretty impulsive. Wait and see if the relationship lasts another 2 months before you start worrying. Besides, if they do get married, it doesn’t sound like there will be much time to plan a formal affair. Just smile and nod when talk of this comes up, and stay focused on your own wedding.

Post # 4
Member
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, it’s frustrating that you’ve already got your plans and now you’ve got to figure out how her plans will affect yours. But there’s really not much to do about it, because you have no control over her or her wedding. All you can do is plan your own wedding. Let her plan hers. Hope she picks a different weekend and life will go on. Don’t let it get to you or get bitter about it. It is what it is. Make the best of it and move on.

Post # 5
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I personally find it ignorant of someone to schedule a wedding so close to someone else’s big that’s just me. My 2nd oldest sister did not even announce her engagement until after my oldest sister’s wedding. i figured it was just basic etiquette, but I am finding out that people are just plain ignorant. 

Post # 6
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
amanda.417:  Usually, I am with you about the you get one day not a whole month thing. But I can see your point here, I would be really upset too. Since she seems so impulsive I would not think anything was 100% set in stone though. 

Is there a baby on the way?

Post # 7
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee

I guess this cousin  and her Fiance doesn’t have very much money themselves, therefore family will fund it and have a say in planning too. If you have invited cousin’s family to your wedding they will be eager to steer her further from your date.

Post # 8
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
amanda.417:  I understand where you coming from, a close friend of mines got engaged last December and decided to get married 2 weeks before my wedding and we are both in each ither wedding and plus I was suppose to be her maid of honor can’t because I have my own wedding to deal with. So I don’t really know how we can financialy contributed to each other bridal shower and batchelorette party. 

Post # 9
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hugs, it is frustating, especially if family have to travel.  Hopefully it will work out. 

Post # 11
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t worry, as long as it’s not the same weekend. It would be super rude to set a date that is on your actual wedding day, so I would hope her family would dissuade her from doing that, as a PP said. Otherwise it hopefully won’t impact you at all! 🙂

Post # 12
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I understand your frustration, but I do agree with the others that say to just deal as harsh as it sounds.  I got a little anger towards my choice of date due to friends getting married around the same time.  I picked my wedding date based off the availability of the venue I fell in love with… It was the only date left for the entire year.  My goal was not to upstage a friend that is getting married 2 weeks later (they picked their date a year in advance and my engagement is only 6 months long).  I made sure it wasn’t the same weekend and hope they don’t really hold it against me (which so far they haven’t but I worry that it will as time gets closer).  It can be hard picking dates that don’t fall near others.

Post # 13
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

When I booked my wedding, it turned out to be one week after the date my cousin’s daughter had picked for her wedding. I didn’t know her date when I booked mine, but you know what? Neither of us were bothered about it, in fact we laughed about it. We’re not close enough relatives to have gone to each others weddings, and it meant that only about six guests went to both (my cousins and an auntie and uncle), which wasn’t a problem as they only live about an hour’s drive away. My auntie (the granny of the girl getting married) was actually quite happy as it meant she could wear her outfit twice! It’s only a big deal if you make it into one.

Post # 14
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I definitely sympathize.  That is really annoying 🙁 I would worry that her crazy antics would take up a lot of the family’s attention, especially if they have some kind of huge drama before the wedding.  

Still, if I had this situation, I would follow the PP’s advice and keep your mind on your own wedding; otherwise it’ll drive you crazy!  Chances are, they will be off-again by mid-July, or at the very least pushing the date back (SO many venues fill up for July by now!) – with her history of short-sighted actions, do you think she’s capable of planning a wedding in 4 months?  That’s tough for even the most organized, efficient brides!

Post # 15
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: Rocky Mountains-May 2017

View original reply
amanda.417:  I understand that yes you get the day and not the month, but I’d feel pretty defensive if I had a clearly slightly dramtic 18 year old cousin who probably has attention issues getting married near my wedding date. Just sayin.

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