(Closed) guest and gifts

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Technically speaking, the only people she can tell not to give gifts are her employees. She has no control over what family or residents do.

Post # 4
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Are you sure she didn’t mean just from people there? Both employees and residents? I don’t see how she can stop all of your family and friends from bringing gifts or turn them away if they did. I would have your BFF or someone at work send all the residents and employees a note saying something like ” our gift to the bride is the beautiful facility and cake, please do not purchase an additional gift “. So that the residents don’t feel obligated to get you something

Post # 5
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sorry but technically she can tell no one that they cannot give a gift.  But, no she absolutely cannot tell your family they can’t.  She probably doesn’t want the residents feeling obligated.

Post # 6
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

What problem does she have about gifts? Does she want to make sure none of the employees/residents feel like they have to give you a gift? Is she worried about not having space in the room to store all the gifts? 

Can you just designate someone’s van as the “gift drop-off” place and have it parked in the parking lot or on the street? 

Post # 7
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@MrsWBS:  This.

OP, whether she’s liked or not is irrelevant.  I would have another talk with her and find out if she has any concerns because it sounds like she’s uncomfortable with this.  And she’s allowed to since this is pretty much her place. Tread lightly. 

Your other guests can hold onto their gifts until they’re leaving and then transfer them to your vehicle or something.

Post # 8
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nothing’s stopping your guests from gifting to you outside of the facility… *wink wink*

Most store registries also direct ship to your address on file. 😀

Post # 9
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

don’t move it! I can tell you want them included! She can only tell her employees not to give gifts- just don’t make a big deal out of the gifts if they are given just say thank you and place them aside! all will be ok!

Post # 11
13946 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She can’t tell your family what to do, end of story.  She can control her employees, and depending on regulations that have been established previously, she may be able to control the residents but she’s got no right to tell your family what to do.  That’s ridiculous.

Post # 12
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Honestly, I would handle it pretty much the way you have been, telling residents that their gift is the facility and the cake (that’s brilliant, by the way 🙂 And I would tell family and friends that because of the venue, and that you don’t want to make any of the residents, who are gifting the facility and cake already, feel bad about not showing up with a package in hand, could any gifts please be dropped off at your house before or after the wedding, or sent by post.

I’d also have a sit down with the woman and thank her for her assistance in reaffirming to the residents that their gift of venue and cake is already more than enough, and that you’ve requested that your friends and family not bring gifts to the reception as well. She sounds like a ridiculously difficult woman to get along with, but if you put her in the position of being someone who is helping you, rather than obstructing you, you may change how she thinks of the relationship and make the entire thing that much smoother. 

On the day of, set up a table with a card box and a long tablecloth and some boxes underneath. Discretely move any gifts out of sight into those boxes, and then out of the building when the opportunity presents itself.  (Because you know some people will bring gifts anyway. 🙂

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