(Closed) Guest behaved so badly I'm unsure what to do.

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
7658 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would tell her she gets no wedding photos until she returns the boxes of liquor and other stuff.

Since her outfit and some of her bahviour is caught on video, you have pretty well irrefutable evidence of her bad behaviour, even if not of the stealing.

Aspergers doesn’t make you behave like that. The cynic in me says she self-diagnosed herself to make excuses for her bad behaviour.

It’s not often I call “friendship over” on wedding bee stories, but in this case I will.

Post # 3
94 posts
Worker bee

I agree no photos until you get everything back. And even then I wouldn’t have them edited. 

My brother has asbergers, with social anxiety,  so no her behavior is NOT because of that.

I would also be cutting ties with her after this ia resolved. 

Post # 4
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

As pp’s stated, no pics (at all) until she gives back what she took!

Post # 5
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Yeah man that all isn’t an Asperger’s thing, it’s a bitch thing. I wouldn’t hold the photos hostage until you get your stuff back, though. I think if you do that, it’ll get really ugly and she’ll complain about it all. Turn over the unedited photos in a format convenient for you and let her know you are saddened and embarrassed by her behavior. She will make excuses and such, but you’ll just have to let it all go.

Post # 6
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


Pele:  yep…have to agree with the others. No pics until she returns your stuff. No return then she’s shit outta luck for her pics. dont accept her excuses either. I would end the friendship regardless of the pics or the return of the stolen stuff.

Post # 7
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

what a bitch. definitely don’t give her any photos until she returns your stuff! 

Post # 8
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Just to make it clear, did your husband photograph her wedding for free as a gift because she’s a friend?

Second, do you have proof that she took those boxes, and that the boxes contained unopened alcohol bottles?

I don’t believe in sinking to the lows of others (you wrestle with pigs, you get dirty), so I would give her the photos as is right now and firmly tell her to return the stolen alcohol.  If she denies she took it, be gracious and let it go.  Either way, I think the friendship is pretty much over but you have the choice to let it die a quiet death or make more drama that won’t help you (or her, frankly).

Sorry that happened at your wedding. 

Post # 9
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with the PPs here. If she asks about the pics, ask about th booze!

Post # 11
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would love for you to send back the Photos unedited in RAW.  With the way her personality seems, I highly doubt she’ll be able to firgure out how to convert to jpg to upload, print, email, etc. 

Post # 12
280 posts
Helper bee

If she can’t give back what she took because she opened them or some/drank some/gave some away to other people tell her that she has to give back what she still has and is still unopened and the rest she has to reimburse you in cash or she will never get her wedding photos….. if she gives what she has back and gives you any cash necessary I’d say that your husband should still edit her photos but call it the end of your friendship.

Post # 13
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

It seems odd to me that you didn’t see any of this bad behavior yourself at your “seriously intimate” wedding. Where were the kids running around pant-less? I don’t mean to second-guess, but from what you said above it sounds like it was all reported to you and you didn’t actually see any of it. It also sounds like it was totally out of character for her? Maybe you should talk to her about it. It really doesn’t sound at all like Asperger’s; rather it sounds like someone headed for a some kind of breakdown, or something else fairly serious.

Anyway, are you on your honeymoon? Don’t let this ruin it. I’d put it out of my mind and you can deal with it when you’re back.

Post # 14
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


prahajess:  +1. I thought the same thing. How come the OP never witnessed any of this herself if the wedding was small and intimate?

Post # 15
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel


Pele:  Oh, Jesus.  Aspies.  Don’t even get me started.  See my post about my uncle and his condition (and how he gets away with the most INSANE things because of his illness)

I’m just ready for it to start being over diagnosed so people can have a fall back excuse for acting like complete assholes.

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