Post # 31
First- It’s absolutely SHAMEFUL to attempt to excuse deplorable behavior because of Asperger’s.
Second- NO PHOTOS from your DH until she sets all “indiscretions” totally right.
Third- Absolutely ask the best man’s wife about her behavior, but I’d start with a neutral “Did you happen to notice Sally during my wedding?….”
Fourth- Above all, ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF YOUR HONEYMOON!!!
Post # 32
I’d really like an update on this. I’m having a very lazy Sunday, just cruisin’ the bee…
Post # 33
Well we got home and looked into what we got back. Much of the bar didn’t come home from the list the bartender left us. Something in the neighborhood of 20 missing bottles. We got a couple more sides of the story from non family that know this woman a bit. We were told by one person she “just took a bottle of rum but someone gave her persmission”. Se we decided to figure out who might have given her permission. We had a wedding of 44 people and the vast majority are related to me and everyone in my family was shocked by the question. Hubby’s family didn’t attend. It wasn’t our bridal party and we’ve discussed our frustration about certain things with our closest friends. So we have no clue who gave her permission. At best it was the very trailer trashie bride of hubbies old friend who got an invite because we’d been to thier wedding a few short weeks before who was collecting things from all the tables to take home (but in fairness they were the service items like individual jars of jam). I don’t see it because she made her bar a cash bar and she’d understand how expensive that liquor was. So we kind of think she took them AND told people she had permission. There was also a lot more missing than one bottle of rum as reported. Mom says a couple bottles wents home with some helpers and a few were opened after things got cleaned up and we took a bottle with us to the hotel. There is still atleast one case of wine and all the hard liquor that didn’t come home.
Hubby took over the asking her about it because I was already a bit blue post wedding. He was asking about packing up and she thanked him for all the treats that she still has in the freezer. It was interesting she mentioned all the food she took (fine by us, we weren’t going to eat it) but didn’t mention any of the liquor. She played dumb and then said my mom gave her a bottle (nope… my mom took one away from her though!). She then got very defensive about not fitting in and started getting upset over the circumstances and having the kids in a terrible mood and not knowing how fancy the wedding would be. She wouldn’t even cop to the rum than one of our friends knew she brought home with her.
So… we really haven’t gotten anything back. But I’m positive it wasn’t a misunderstanding and don’t feel as bad because I wasn’t sure she knew she was misbehaving. I’m pretty sure she knows now – maybe not everything I’ve heard back about but atleast some of it that she lied about.
Hubby doesn’t want to not give back the pictures and is torn because there are photos he wants for his portfolio and he doesn’t want it to affect his reputation. I suggest we turn them over but only edit the ones that we wants to have edited. He seems to think that’s a good idea but hasn’t even opened them again since our wedding because he’s got no interest in thinking about her.
So I guess that’s where we’re at.. we wrote of the idea off getting that liquor back and will give her pictures to her when we feel less upset about the whole ordeal and actually want to look at them.. She’s already asked about them which really surprises me after the last interaction and I don’t think hubby responded at all (which is a surprise because he’s concerned about his reputation…) Does she think crocodile tears distracted us from the accusation that she’s a thief? Blah…
I almost feel like he should just give her a contact sheet and tell her they are $50 a photo for the digital to print as she pleases. Ultimately we only offered to give her a pro photobook as a gift and to shoot the photos for free. We never mentioned handing them over for free. We fully intended it but that was only ever implied.
Post # 34
No doubt she’s a horrible person but take comfort in the fact that you know this now not when shes been intimately involved with you and your kids for years.
Personally I think your best course of action is to finish your business with her to the best of your ability and change your number.
I know it’s hard at times to believe KARMA will take care of everything but sometimes you just have to believe. Just do your best and rise above her foolishness you will be rewarded for it.
Renegiotiating the price or not doing what was implied or agreed upon may disrupt your husbands reputation as a photographer. Lesson learned Business is business, pleasure is pleasure, not everyone is suitable to traverse the business and pleasure spheres, and everything in writing so there’s no miscommunications.
Best of luck.
Post # 35
Thank you for updating. She sounds horrible and the sooner you can wash your hands of her, the better off you’ll be.