(Closed) Guest Count and Invite question!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5480 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you’re right to be cautious about inviting more people than your venue can accommodate. 

Definitely do not over-invite, and be cautious if using a ‘B list’ approach… if people find out they weren’t good enough the first time feelings can be hurt (which is why I find B lists rude, but hey- ya gotta do what ya gotta do!!)

If I were you, I would send announcements after the wedding to these family members so that they are included in what’s going on in your life, without you stressing about your venue capacity or them worrying about travelling out of town.

If you decide to use a B list, make SURE you send the first round early enough that your RSVP deadline is still reasonable for the second round, or print two separate RSVP cards with two different dates. 

Post # 5
5480 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@VGoode:  No, don’t ask in advance… that could be considered a verbal invitation and then it would be rude to not send one.  They could always change their mind too.  The guest list was probably the single biggest pain in the rear!!  See how your mom feels about sending announcements… might be the best compromise for your situation.


Post # 6
669 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Neither on both.

1) You should invite expecting 100% accept. So if you have a hard stop at 70 that is the max you should inivte.

2) B-lists are very rude. All invites should go out at the same time. People will find out if you were their “second-choice.”


Even if folks say they can’t go, if you imply they are to be invited they should receive an invite (so, if they receive a save the date, for instance, and tell you that doesn’t work, they should still receive an invite). Plans do change, so you still need to expect they are coming.

If you have more than 70 invites, you need to find another venue or limit the guest list.

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