(Closed) guest dilemma

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would just go ahead and invite them, unless you’re getting close to running out of seating space. It’ll keep your Future In-Laws happy, and it won’t cost you anything.

Plus, there’s always a chance they’ve already planned something to be doing during the wedding and won’t come. At the very least, maybe they’ll bring you a present. Wink

Post # 4
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

For me, it would depend on who’s coming to the wedding at all and how you feel about “strangers” there. If you don’t want them to come, suggest that the extraneous friends do another roadtrip activity. After all, they can hang out with each other so it’s not as if one will be all alone in a hotel room.

If you really don’t care whether they come to the wedding, let your Future Mother-In-Law invite them and see what they want to do. Wouldn’t Future Father-In-Law be busy with the wedding and family stuff anyway, so the extra friends will be hanging out with each other anyway?

Personally, there were “extra friends” at my wedding and it didn’t bother me the day of because I was generally happy and feeling the love. To be completely honest, though, it does bother in photos when I want to include Friend but not Guest in my album. Oh well. I know it’s petty.

Post # 5
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh we had this happen, too! Future Mother-In-Law had two cousins and their family or friends (extended, either way) were in town from Japan. So we invited them. I mean, they were like, staying at their house and everything and Future Mother-In-Law really wanted these cousins there (they were also living with my husband’s grandma, so as you can see, if these cousins didn’t come, the gma wouldn’t have a ride). Tricky. We ended up inviting them since it was kind of an awkward situation

That being said, the principle of the matter is already touchy with your Future Mother-In-Law. It’s not the money, it’s more people!

Granted, this is your FMIL’s friends visiting them. I would tend to say yes because they’re your FFIL’s friends and they are in town and whatnot. Are they GOOD friends of your FFIL? I think that’s where I’d invite them. Not so good friends? No. But close? Yes, I would. I invited a few of my mom’s high school friends. They couldn’t make it, but they knew me before I was born and felt it was right.

Post # 6
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would say you’re right that it’s important to pick your battles and that this probably isn’t one of them… there are people you don’t know at the wedding already…

I have a similar situation, except the damage is already done, my father is paying for a friend of a friend who I hastily said could come to the wedding because she’s going to be in town accompanying an out of town friend… now I regret it but it’s too late. I’m hoping she at least brings a present but doubt she will.

Post # 7
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would invite them. She’s offered to pay for them, and a large majority of their guests won’t be able to make it. It may seem awkward but in the end, you may not even notice!

Post # 8
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

If you have the space, I’d go ahead and invite them since your Future Mother-In-Law has offered to pay.

Post # 9
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would go ahead and invite them as well.  As long as you’re not footing the bill, you most likely won’t even notice they’re there.

Post # 10
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would go ahead, the more the merrier.  Plenty of times when parents are paying for the wedding they invite tons of people the couple has never meet for business or social obligations, this is probably the same thing.  If it’s important to Future Mother-In-Law and she’s willing to pay for them, invite them

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