(Closed) Guest Etiquette Q: SO not invited, then MOB says I should have asked?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You were right not to push the issue about bringing him.  You get an etiquette A+!  However, it is a bit rude of them to exclude your SO, especially since you’ve been together for so long.

Post # 4
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s rude they didn’t invite your SO, like come on you have been with him for three and a half years. I kind of think you had a right to ask if he could come though, like its not as if you have only been dating a few months.

Post # 7
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Its definitely rude that they didn’t invite him with you.  While it would not have been rude of you to call to see if he was invited (it is rude to assume and bring the SO or add him or her to the response card, not to just ask), you were very gracious in not doing so.

ETA it sounds like they were ‘testing’ you, which to me is even more rude than just not inviting your SO.

Post # 8
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That was a major ettiquette faux pas on their part for not inviting your SO. I don’t care whether your cut-off is married or engaged only, a relationship of 3.5yrs I consider engaged, as after taht long in its a pretty safe bet you 2 will marry. I would say when your turn comes return the favour, and leave her husband off the invite.

Post # 9
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I def think you were right to respect their decision not to invite your SO … and that they were out of line to tell you they didn’t invite him to keep costs down, but that you should have asked?  Then what is the point of trying to keep costs down?!  

Post # 12
3267 posts
Sugar bee

No one should ever ask if someone else is invited.  So good job OP, you did the correct thing.

I would just ignore the comments, and know that you did the right thing.


Post # 14
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Creiddylad:  Definitely one of the hardest parts of planning for many brides. my side was easy, even those I really didn’t want to waste an invite on, its a safe bet they won’t attend anyways, they don’t have anything to do with anyone in my family except my grandpa, anything anyone else is at they won’t go. My FI’s list is alot more complicated and difficult. We run into alot of ettiquette things like if we invite so and so and sos and so’s brother we kinda need to invite so and so’s other brother, even though we never speak. I hate those constraints, I actually told my Fiance that if we need to end up cutting numbers anymore, then anyone i haven’t met is off. his family has big family dinners for all holidays, and annual bbqs so if I haven’t met them in the time we’ve been together then they aren’t close enough to be invited.

Post # 15
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2022

@andielovesj:  100 percent agree, it doesn’t seem like they were being malicious. I wouldn’t really dwell on what your great aunt said, because well the woman is 80 and quite honestly i feel older people have earned the right to be as blunt as they like. That being said you were 100percent correct in your actions, attending the wedding without  your SO. its only one night for a few hours. no harm on foul IMO

The topic ‘Guest Etiquette Q: SO not invited, then MOB says I should have asked?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors