Post # 1
I have invited my friend and her long time boyfriend to my upcoming wedding. The problem is is that she cannot make my wedding as she is out of town. Her boyfriend can. We don’t know him very well. They have asked whether or not he should come.
Has anyone actually experienced having the plus 1 rsvp as yes, but the main invitee says no? What would you do in this situation?
Post # 3
Hmm… Usually the +1’s only come if the main invitee comes. If I didn’t really know the boyfriend I would just be honest and tell your friend that you’re sorry but you’d feel a little awkward with her bf there without her since you dont know him very well. You could then suggest having them both over to dinner when she gets back in town to get to know him better. That’s what I would do. Good luck!
Post # 4
MissC’s got a good point.
Also, does the boyfriend *want* to come? I would think that he might feel awkward and sorta out of place by himself. Maybe your friend feels that if she can’t make it herself, she should still send her boyfriend to ‘represent’ them there. He might not even want to come- they might really want to know if you particularly want him there, and worry you might be insulted that neither of them were coming?
Either way, I think you’re fine in following MissC’s advice
Post # 5
you say that the boyfriend is a long time boyfriend so I’m assuming that he might also be "around" for a while. I think you have to think about why or why not he was invited; because he was someone’s significant other, (not a random +1),because you had it in your budget and space. I think it’s really nice that the boyfriend is trying to get to know you by coming to your wedding. Since you would be paying for him if your friend was coming or not coming, it’s clearly not a money issue. So what if you don’t know him "that well". I’m sure there are quiet a few relatives and friends of parents who will be there you don’t know that well. If he’s comfortable being there without you friend, I say the more the marrier. Good luck!
Post # 6
I just wanted to know how weird the situation is. I’ve already let them know that the boyfriend is more than welcome to come without my friend. He did express that he would like to come but wanted to make sure that I didn’t want to use that "no" for another guest. I couldn’t disinvite him, that would be tacky. So I’ve left it up to them to decide!
Post # 7
That’s actually really considerate of them to think of your b-list. Way to have nice guests! I’m super jealous. =)