(Closed) Guest/ Family Issue- inviting people on there own?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

DANG, that must be one heck of a budget.

My oldest brother had a Destination Wedding in Mexico and they only invited the parents, that’s it. But then when they got home they threw a big reception party “beach theme” that the entire family and friends went to.  None of us had hurt feelings, we understood it would just cost way toooo much money to invite the entire family

But I guess that would be out of the question?

Otherwise I dont think it’s rediculous of you to not want them to bring their SO’s I even think asking ur cousins to come wouldnt be all that necessary.

Post # 4
Member
3252 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i knew that this would be a problem with his side of the family. Trying to invite ppl without our permission.

on the bottom of our rsvp cards it states plainly

“please do not bring any univited guest as they will not be included in our dinner and seating counts. thank you in advance”

and i really don’t care who doesn’t like it. we’re the only ones paying for this and we don’t want a bunch of univited ppl at the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I have had a few friends do something like this “Oh, my wife can’t come so I’m going to bring so and so.” I have had to take the difficult position of saying to these friends (and suggest you may want to say something similar to your family): “I am sorry that your wife will not be able to join us. I have to ask that you not bring so and so as a substitute. We are limited in how many people we can include and tried to be fair and consistent about whom we invited. So, for example, we excluded all of our second cousins rather than pick and choose among them. We also did not invite anyone “and guest.” If I allow you to bring your friend as a substitute, others who did not get to bring an “and guest” may be hurt and upset with me.”

Post # 6
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i would just tell them sorry, we’re on a very strict budget, it’s a small wedding, and we just can’t add to the guest list. or make your mom do it!

Post # 7
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I am not sure when people began ignoring who the invitations were addressed to and started bringing everyone they knew.  We have decided to add something along the lines of “– seats have been reserved for you.”  I don’t care which 2 people show up, but we are clear that only 2 people have been invited.

Good luck

Post # 8
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Dora10 – that is exactly what we did on RSVP “we have reserved____ seat(s) in your honor”…that should cut down on wedding crashers!

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