(Closed) Guest Issue/Rant???

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2316 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn

If she isn’t even close enough to text you about the wedding, why would she expect to be invited? So weird!

How does your friend feel about telling her “no”? I know it’s not fair to expect your friend to be the messenger, but she might not mind.

Post # 4
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d tell your friend to say she’s not sure and she should ask you. That way it gets your friend out of it and you can simply tell her she isn’t invited. Just my opinion. 

Post # 5
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@itshouldsnow: Good answer! It may mean that the OP has to suck up the courage to say ” I’m sorry, but weren’t able to accomodate everyone we wanted to invite”.

Post # 6
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

tell your friend to stay out of it as its no concern of hers and you will contact “Stan” directly

do not make your friend bring Stan as a plus one – if she chooses to thats her business but otherwise i dont think its nice to invite someone and tell them who they are bringing

somehow tell Stan that they are not invited – tell her its nothing negative about their friendship but its a numbers game and you hope she understands.


Post # 7
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have been in a similar situation with my quinceneira (15th birthday)!! That party was bigger than my own wedding is going to be and definitely more expensive LOL I ended up excluding her from the invite list and all of our mutual friends came. A year later that same girl became one of my best girlfriends and still is to this day. I felt bad about not inviting her then and now that we are closer I regret my decision even more. No one knows the future but make sure you make the right decision for yourself.

Post # 8
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree that your friend should stay out of it. Maybe saying she doesn’t know or telling “stan” she better asks you.

It’s unconfortable to tell her straight on that she’s not invited and I know you don’t want to lie but it’s not like you’re lying just to get our of it, it’s just that the polite way to act it’s to say things like ‘We would’nt able to accomodate everyone we wanted’, ‘It’s something small’…

Good luck

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