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posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
4684 posts
Honey bee

I think she was incredibly rude and insensitive. It’s time to let her self reflect and apologize to you. 

Post # 3
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
honeyb1102 :  since she’s the maid of honor, she probably assumed she would get to bring someone. It’s pretty common that bridal party gets a plus one.

Did she say she would introduce him there? November is a long time from now, maybe she thought you guys would meet him before then?

Post # 4
Member
543 posts
Busy bee

This will be an emotionally hard one for you and her considering she was married to your brother and is now with someone else after he has passed, however I dont think she should be treated differently because of that.

If she is a bridesmaid then usually they get a plus one for their partners, and it isnt up to you to judge their relationship. Did you make it clear to her that her partner was not invited beforehand?

Post # 5
Member
47420 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

She should not have assumed her boyfriend would be included. At the very least she should have asked first. Having said that, members of the wedding party ofen get a plus one. If they are living together, he isn’t even a plus one. He should have been invited as her SO.

Rather than wait until November, why not reach out and get to know him now?  You have plenty of time to invite them to a casual BBQ etc at your home,  so he’s not a stranger.

Post # 6
Member
4684 posts
Honey bee

Sorry, I think you all are really off base. The maid of honor invited a guy she has dated for 2-3 months to stay with her late husband’s family in a home they are paying for without discussing it with them first.  Not to mention, it is a small intimate wedding and probably the first family wedding since OP’s brother and the hosts’ son passed away.

Nope, nope, nope. 

Post # 7
Member
543 posts
Busy bee

The Maid/Matron of Honor should not have invited anyone without checking first. 

If no one else gets a plus one then fine, its a small wedding so there are some serious cuts. However if others do and she doesn’t because of the fact she was married to their son, then that is BS. She is allowed to move on with her life and should not have to hide her relationships. The OP shouldnt have chosen her as a Maid/Matron of Honor if she wasn’t prepared to deal with this scenario. 

Post # 10
Member
543 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
honeyb1102 :  If no one else gets a plus one then that should have been the reason you told her he cannot come. However, when you say “Needless to say when I explained why I wasn’t comfortable with his presence, it didn’t go well” it suggests that maybe it wasn’t the main reason he was not invited, which has then hurt her feelings.

Maybe try to explain to her that you were upset when you first found out, however no one is actually getting a plus one for partners so you can’t break the rule for her without upsetting other close family/friends who are not allowed their partners. 

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