(Closed) Guest List

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@CareyIUP: Um, good luck with that.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@CareyIUP: Both my parents and FI’s parents have been given options to add to the guest list, and both of them came back to us and said “how many people do you want us to add, we will work with that.”

So not ALL parents are guest list ruiners. I’m really glad I asked my parents who they wanted there, because there are definitely good family friends I would have forgotten about. And since both sides asked how many we would allow them, we didn’t set a limit for them. Both sides came in very low though.

Both families really feel the day is about my Fiance & I and want to do everything they can to make the day wonderful.

Post # 5
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We aren’t asking any of FI’s family who they want to invite, because we know his mother will want to invite all extended family (which we aren’t doing).  My parents are hosting the wedding, so they have a say in a couple people.

But for the most part, the guest list is ours and ours alone.  It’s our wedding regardless of who is paying for it and I always feel bad for girls on here who have to feel pressured to invite tons of people they either don’t know, haven’t seen in a long time, or can’t afford to include.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My husband and I paid for our wedding ourselves with no help from our parents, and our parents did not have any say on the guest list. They were very aware that it was our party and that we made the decisions, and they were ok with that. I think if your parents are paying that you have to let them have input on it, but if they are not it is a different story.

Of course, weddings are an emotional issue for some people, so I could easily see parents being angry if they have no say in the list even if they are not contributing financially. You’ll have to know what will work best with your families.

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