(Closed) Guest List Advice

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: PLEASE READ POST BEFORE VOTING
    Yes, invite all your uncles on your father's side : (21 votes)
    51 %
    No, only invite the one uncle and aunt who is also your godmother : (18 votes)
    44 %
    OTHER... explain : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    who is paying?

    if its your dad and he wants to invite them i think you should

    however if you and your Fiance are paying you just need to explain to your dad and his family if asked that your venu only held a small number of people and send them an announcment.

    Post # 5
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My fiance isn’t inviting all of his father’s siblings, because he isn’t at all close with them (I’m not even sure he knows all their names!).  And I’m not inviting my father’s side of the family, because I’ve only seen them a handful of times in my life.  So I think you’re fine.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Wait, do you mean your dad’s brothers or your dad’s uncles?

    I’m pretty sure it’s mandatory to invite all your parent’s siblings to a wedding. If they don’t make it, they don’t make it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It would be kinda mean to not even invite the others when you’re inviting one uncle already.  At least give them the option to decide if they want to attend or not.  Especially since they got invites (and attended) your brother’s wedding.

    Post # 9
    Member
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I agree with tiffybear-  it would be pretty rude to invite some of your uncles and not the others.  It is definitely something they would hear about and it would probably offend them.  For a wedding, family always comes first.  You don’t know how your relationship with your local friends will change, but your uncles will always be your uncles.  Also, you can see your local friends all the time anyways, and maybe have a separate celebration with them if you want, and this might be one of the only opportunities your uncles have celebrate with you.

    You should invite them.  If they make the trip, then obviously you are more important to them than they are to you.  If they say no, then you can invite your local friends, since they won’t need as much notice to make travel arrangements. Win- win 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    319 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I think it sort of depends on your family’s culture. Does everyone tend to get invited to weddings? Or are they smaller?

    For example, in my FI’s family weddings are something that the whole family goes to on his mom’s side and it would be a slight of epic proportions to not invite all of them (60 people!!). However they all live locally and get the whole clan together for Christmas and Easter as well, so it’s not like you never see them then have to invite them to your wedding.

    My family on the other hand is much less close, I am inviting all of my mom’s cousins etc. because I’m able to, but they wouldn’t be hurt if I couldn’t.

    I did draw the line at my granma’s cousin’s children. I invited her cousin (who is a delightful woman that has let me stay in her home before) but not her children/grandchildren who I’ve met precisely once.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    You can invite and not invite whomever you like. Etiquette supports this. Being a blood relative does not entitle you to an invitation.

    Personally, I invited 1 of 2 of my moms brothers. Both of my dad’s siblings. One with kids and one without. We based it on closeness. We see my dads brother kids several times a year. I never see other cousins (last time was years ago).

    However you have to judge your situation and judge if there will be hurt feelings. You can be within the lines of etiquette and still cause hurt feelings.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1798 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    If you really aren’t close to them, I see no reason to be obligated to invite them. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    4676 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    As long as you are not fronting any travel costs it doesn’t hurt to invite them…  If they are not in close touch with the family then the chances of them actually coming are very slim.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1271 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Invite the people you want to be there. 

    The topic ‘Guest List Advice’ is closed to new replies.

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